Morning Solitude

I wrote this after waking up at 6am. I was inspired by the period of time between day and night, when the sunlight isn't yellow but white, and has not yet reached its full capacity.

there is a void

between night and day

where white light filters through

my veiling window shade.

the soft glow

too weak to yet reach the wall

idly clambers towards my bed

as my chest rises and falls.

in these hollow minutes

as the sun crawls up the sky

my thoughts are suspended

with this meshed lot of time.

there is no waste in these moments;

no seconds lost to find "

where time evades the clock

is where my hope resides.

the first sounds of morning

surface to my ears

with birds as a chorus and

a single beak to lead.

they sing with such serenity

but I only cringe in fear

of the ticking sure to follow and

no indifference left to spare.

as the pale brightness grows

my peace does fall and break;

my eyes unwillingly widen and

my body starts to wake.

the sunlight kindles a fire

in the back of my mind and

with the first blink of my eyes

my thoughts are unconfined.

Author's Note

any kind of feedback is appreciated :)

Reviews

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

A powerful nature poem. You'd make Shakespeare proud. :) Nicely expressed natural beauty and the soothing effect it has on your mind. One can connect instantly and learn a lot at the same time. Great job! :)

idly clambers toward my bed
as my chest rises and falls.
I simply loved the verse ''as my chest rises and falls''. It is such a poetic way of saying that you're asleep. Sort of gave me a melodious feeling (if you know what I mean :D ) Just one thing, you've written idly clambers ''toward'' my bed instead of towards by mistake I suppose so do correct that.

there is no waste in these moments;
no seconds lost to find "
where time evades the clock
is where my hope resides.

This stanza is simply amazing. It stresses the beauty of nature and nature's effect on us with such simplicity yet strength that it is quite captivating.
You've compiled a really wonderful poem. One of my most favourite reads till now. :)

[Maddy Stillman]

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will make that change now :)

[Adam Adams]

Reading this write seemed like the winds touched in my face gently with its softness. The imagery you've created 'bout the realm of day and night is profoundly appreciated. It makes the reader enjoying the time when the sun's 'bout to coming out of the horizons & birds wish to fly away... along sun-rays. Nice flow of ink.

[Connor Stone]

For some reason, the imagery in this poem is not what catches my attention the most.

I quite enjoy the way this is written, and I find that it has a sort of colloquial feel to it. It is comforting and familiar. I think that what really strikes me about this poem is how it sounds to me, with regards to the simple structure and the meter, as well as some of your choices for images. The birds singing, the use of the words "time, moments, clock, ticking"... They all make me "hear" much more than I "see", and I think that lends something special to this work.

I feel that it can be improved, but I do not believe I can provide much direction about how to do so. However, it is quite good as it is, and I can understand the others' praise for it.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

such vivid delicate description......
passionate writing......
beautiful beautiful poem....
i loved it!!!
:)

[Maddy Stillman]

Thank you so much! :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :) :)

[Perkele.7885]

Such verbal alliteration, bravo! And for so early in the morning. This is when, I enjoy sleeping the most, when the 2nd shift workers of the world are preparing to face their day. My bedroom window is cracked open, my pillows and sheets are cool an d the dog is quiet at the foot of the bed protecting me against the marauders of the day. You write a fine poem, Maddy!

[Maddy Stillman]

Thank you so much! I find this to be the most peaceful and satisfying time of day.

[Bees]

For a moment I felt as if I could see the world through your eyes…
It is like I exist in a dreamy world, in the way you describe it.
Then follow the oxymorons as you are waking from that dreamy world…
Then some unsettling thoughts,
Brining us to the outcome of “thoughts unconfined”,
Leaving the reader to wonder if this is a good or an unsettling unconfined…

I enjoyed reading it.
I thought it was easy to read and it captured my imagination.
I like it when it is short and easy to read.
Saying that is not any critique on you writing but just reflects on the simple person I am.
So thank you :-)

[Maddy Stillman]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)