Girl

I'm sitting here, sitting on my bed and I'm starting at something, at nothing. The mirror, the girl.
Her name, her family, her friends.
It doesn't matter, none of it does. She
Is stressed, she
Is angry, she
Is sad, she
Trusts, she
Hurts.
But who is she and why is she in my mirror?

Floating, I'm not sitting I'm floating and the air is holding me.
Suspended in the air by the air.
And I look, I look with my hazel eyes and my seeing eyes into the mirror and she is staring back a t me but her eyes, her black holes, the empty pits that if you look close enough hold the world and hatred and the stress and the hurt of the whole world. But I don't care.
I don't know her. I don't recognise her. I don't feel her pain. Don't know her stress. Yet she stares at me,
Like she expects something.
I haven't anything to give.

I'm suspended in the air and I'm effortlessly floating but I'm not moving.
I'm not worrying I'm just being.
Hollow and blank, her eyes,
my soul.

Reviews

[H.S. King]

The enjambment here really helps to get across the sense of confusion. The changing from third person to first also helps to show the disassociation of the character from her feelings. It's almost as if she is trying to deny that she feels so low by pretending that she isn't herself. It suggests that she is changing into a person she does not like or care for which is quite harrowing. This piece is written with a keen eye for structure and an ambiguous sense of character which helps to make the piece more universal. Very well done!

[LastMonth]

Is this a story about a girl who rejects her own pain? Ignoring it completly..?
Is this a story about a girl who is -trying- to withold the frustration but isn't capable of doing so?

Or is a little bit of both? I'd say that that's the right answer.
This is a beautiful story, the way you wrote the 'She is' phase is wonderful. It was delightful to read it.
Thank you very much for the story.

[tiajam]

Thank you, I appreciate your review. I feel like it is a bit of both and I'm glad that I got that across. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

The air is holding me. I love that phrase. Instead of just flying you make an inanimate object do the work.