My Abuse

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Woke up in the morning, only eight years old

Trying to forget all those likes you told

“Sable come here” you said in your scary voice

I really didn’t want to but I didn’t have a choice

If I didn’t you would have came and gotten me

So I walked over to you, as scared as could be

You looked down on me boring a hole through my head

Then you attacked… I thought I was dead

But I wasn’t I woke up with blood on my face

But no bruises, nothing that the police could trace

I tried to get up but I couldn’t

Then I looked down and saw my leg, it looked like you had broken it

Then suddenly the pain was felt

I started to cry so you hit me with your belt

The surprisingly I was able to stand up

“Stop it I yelled” Your reply was “Shut the hell up”

Again I just started crying

You raised your hand then down to the ground I came crashing

Only this time I couldn’t get up and walk

Then I discovered I also couldn’t talk

I crawled to my bed and hugged my knees

You stood in the door way and just stared at me

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Came home after school when I was twelve years old

I was so excited I had a family mystery to unfold

I went in the living room and took out the photo albums

But I guess that made you mad out of my hand you knocked them

I looked up at you, terrified to move

Then all of a sudden you picked up a shoe

And BAM!! The shoe flung into my head

I dropped to the ground, why couldn’t I have been dead

I stood up and tried to fight back

That was a mistake because my head ended up busted on the back

Somehow I found the strength to fight some more

After it was over I ended up face down on the kitchen floor

Bruised ribs, busted nose, and a busted head

Busted lip, blood face, and yet I still wasn’t dead

I laid on the floor till my mom got home and boy was she mad

After two hours of you fighting with her I grew quite sad

I thought there was going to be all out war

But the only thing that was exchanged was words that swore

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

One morning before school at the age of sixteen

Everything was peaceful or at least that’s how it seemed

We don’t live in the same household anymore so I don’t know why

Every time I come near you, you still try to make me cry

There we were on the second floor

I had just dropped off the kids that I adore

“Get the hell out” I heard out of no where

I was kind of in shock all I did was stare

You walked up to me and swung your arm

But I’m sixteen now, I’m not going to let you draw blood that’s warm

I blocked your hit and you were so angry

So you got even closer to me

Then swung and swung and swung again

I blocked them all so you grabbed my shirt and then

Tried to knock me down, it wouldn’t have worked but unfortunately for me

We were at the top of the stairs, yes pain came to be

Down the fifteen stairs I flew

When I hit the tile at the bottom all I could do was look at you

But no you couldn’t stop there

That would have been to kind for you, I swear

I laid at the bottom of the stairs, as if dead was what I was supposed to be

Then you grabbed the most holy book and threw it at me

Did it hit me? Nope in your old age you’ve lost your aim

We may no longer live together but nothing has changed

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

The same day after that incident

I limped to school and told everyone it was an accident

I remember it like it was yesterday, oh wait that’s because it was

“What happened sable” “Nothing I just fell” the usual cause

When I got to school I remembered it was an odd day

I had all my favorite teachers and I didn’t want them to see me that way

I was late to my third period class

But I didn’t care, at that point everyone could have kissed my a*s

I was late to my fifth period class too

I had a friend tell the teacher something was wrong, that wasn’t entirely true

I mean if I wanted to I could have been to class on time

But to tell you the truth I was just going to skip is that a crime?

I had to just take a breath

Try to relieve myself of some stress

I ended up getting through the day

But I decided I can no longer go on living this way

 

Today I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain is over

No longer do I have to look over my shoulder

Oh how I yearned for this day

When no one with me shall have their way

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This poem is very long, to tell you the truth I could make it into a story. Hope you like it. Please dont be to harsh... is it deep enough?

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

Yes it is very deep. You could easily make this into a story. I liked the use of age progression through time. It's a sad affair what some must live through. Beautifully done.

[Seshat Nidaba]

This was intense and quite tragic, I felt like I was reading somebody's diary and while it was errie, I could sense a growth in the 'victim' and how they gained perspective from relating the tale.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞Emmett..]

This is very sad, but a great inspirational ending. I believe that you can improve on this, since it's such a great story told through rhymes. Like what Paparapapa said, parts seemed forced. For me, I believe you can add a lot of commas for certain parts, extend sentences and shorten others, and exclamation points in one of the sentences with the dialogue.

BTW, I can not tell if this is true or fiction (Although I believe that Sable is your name, so it might be obvious - okay, yes, I just checked from your book/journal, but I'm still in denial), but I'm going to assume that this is true anyway and based on personal experience from your life.... which I hope is not true, or else I'll cry.

Anyway, this is such a horrible story, makes me wanna cry! ; o ; I'm confused on who is hurting you, your mom or your dad? In the chorus it says, "She will no longer have her way" but then it was added that after your mom came home, the two began fighting so I'm like, "Both are abusing this kid! Ahhh!!! Where's the humanity!" It's not both is it? One is physical, one is mental. AHHHHH!!!! *bangs head against desk* But great story, I believe you can make a great book out of this. ...man, this is so depressing. More depressing than the time the blood donor told me I couldn't donate blood because I'm 7 lbs less of the required weight. ....I was seriously depressed for a month, eating as much food as possible to make up those 7 pounds. And that's MY definition of tragedy, I don't want to experience yours personally. DX N-No offense. O _o

Oh, and yes. This is deep. But believe it or not, you can always make it deeper.

[paparapapa]

Some parts felt forced, maybe because this poem''s long and it's just hard to maintain its momentum. But anyway, there were also some aspects that I really liked. Like how you repeated that one stanza. I don't know why, but it made the poem much more appealing. I also like the occasional rhymes which made me read and read. The story was also good despite its being depressing. Overall, great write! ;)

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Wow...very long indeed...but kept my attention throughout with its emotional storytelling nature that captivates the reader, as it feels like very now and real....
Top work indeed...brilliant to read xD

[stars are far]

this was so nicely writen :)

[Raven Starhawk]

Sad but ever so well written. I can find pieces of myself here and really at the moment your words make a world of sense to me. I relate to the pain and sadness, but also feel that it is leaving deep scars that may not heal.

[Thea]

This is actually great, Smarie...
Very well penned...There were so many strong emotions in this poem...
Such a wonderful job you put in this work...
Excellent...
Keep it up!
Here's a 100 for yah! ^^