My Abuse

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Woke up in the morning, only eight years old

Trying to forget all those likes you told

“Sable come here” you said in your scary voice

I really didn’t want to but I didn’t have a choice

If I didn’t you would have came and gotten me

So I walked over to you, as scared as could be

You looked down on me boring a hole through my head

Then you attacked… I thought I was dead

But I wasn’t I woke up with blood on my face

But no bruises, nothing that the police could trace

I tried to get up but I couldn’t

Then I looked down and saw my leg, it looked like you had broken it

Then suddenly the pain was felt

I started to cry so you hit me with your belt

The surprisingly I was able to stand up

“Stop it I yelled” Your reply was “Shut the hell up”

Again I just started crying

You raised your hand then down to the ground I came crashing

Only this time I couldn’t get up and walk

Then I discovered I also couldn’t talk

I crawled to my bed and hugged my knees

You stood in the door way and just stared at me

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Came home after school when I was twelve years old

I was so excited I had a family mystery to unfold

I went in the living room and took out the photo albums

But I guess that made you mad out of my hand you knocked them

I looked up at you, terrified to move

Then all of a sudden you picked up a shoe

And BAM!! The shoe flung into my head

I dropped to the ground, why couldn’t I have been dead

I stood up and tried to fight back

That was a mistake because my head ended up busted on the back

Somehow I found the strength to fight some more

After it was over I ended up face down on the kitchen floor

Bruised ribs, busted nose, and a busted head

Busted lip, blood face, and yet I still wasn’t dead

I laid on the floor till my mom got home and boy was she mad

After two hours of you fighting with her I grew quite sad

I thought there was going to be all out war

But the only thing that was exchanged was words that swore

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

One morning before school at the age of sixteen

Everything was peaceful or at least that’s how it seemed

We don’t live in the same household anymore so I don’t know why

Every time I come near you, you still try to make me cry

There we were on the second floor

I had just dropped off the kids that I adore

“Get the hell out” I heard out of no where

I was kind of in shock all I did was stare

You walked up to me and swung your arm

But I’m sixteen now, I’m not going to let you draw blood that’s warm

I blocked your hit and you were so angry

So you got even closer to me

Then swung and swung and swung again

I blocked them all so you grabbed my shirt and then

Tried to knock me down, it wouldn’t have worked but unfortunately for me

We were at the top of the stairs, yes pain came to be

Down the fifteen stairs I flew

When I hit the tile at the bottom all I could do was look at you

But no you couldn’t stop there

That would have been to kind for you, I swear

I laid at the bottom of the stairs, as if dead was what I was supposed to be

Then you grabbed the most holy book and threw it at me

Did it hit me? Nope in your old age you’ve lost your aim

We may no longer live together but nothing has changed

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

The same day after that incident

I limped to school and told everyone it was an accident

I remember it like it was yesterday, oh wait that’s because it was

“What happened sable” “Nothing I just fell” the usual cause

When I got to school I remembered it was an odd day

I had all my favorite teachers and I didn’t want them to see me that way

I was late to my third period class

But I didn’t care, at that point everyone could have kissed my a*s

I was late to my fifth period class too

I had a friend tell the teacher something was wrong, that wasn’t entirely true

I mean if I wanted to I could have been to class on time

But to tell you the truth I was just going to skip is that a crime?

I had to just take a breath

Try to relieve myself of some stress

I ended up getting through the day

But I decided I can no longer go on living this way

 

Today I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain is over

No longer do I have to look over my shoulder

Oh how I yearned for this day

When no one with me shall have their way

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This poem is very long, to tell you the truth I could make it into a story. Hope you like it. Please dont be to harsh... is it deep enough?

Reviews

[mandy]

yes, it is long, but it held my interest to the very end,,,very well written. i have a working knowledge of this type of abuse, because i was a foster mom..and i have been thinking of trying to write something through the eyes of a child. but it is difficult, and you did it so well. thanks for sharing.

[alegria]

very painful and well put on paper...d depths of emotions n the whole situation is so so painful...well written....is it deep enough?? it is quite deep n emotional...and yes its long...but its gr8 work:))

[EMMIE]

Oh it is deep enough for sure and so very sad. Unfortunately there are so many children out there that can relate to this poem. I command you for being strong and brave enough to write something like this. It really strikes a nerve, very well written.

[Legolas]

This is so emotional. I am so sorry for all the pain you have gone through. I am happy it has stopped. I think it is very deep. The rhyming did't feel forced at all. Wonderful write. My heart goes out for you.

[Otsana]

This was a very painful poem to read and I can imagine it would have been very painful to write also. Sometimes it can be the hardest thing to put these situations down in ink and then share it with the world but it it can also be very helpful. I can really relate to many of the emotions in this and I think you have done a great job putting them into words. Great write.

[Becky]

Such raw painful emotion. Beautifully written!

[V.J.C.]

Yes, this is very sad but some how i could not stop reading it. A piece of life that had always remained behind closed doors and you write about it, with depth.
Thanks for the read

[jessdixon]

This poem is horrifyingly real. The story is so sad, but I couldn't stop reading. Great job at turning such a sensitive story into a haunting poem.

[Ink Angel]

So very well writtern, such heart breaking sadness, But I think this person is staring to stand in her power and will rise above it. Thank you for this honest write.

[Lucien Maier]

Very well laid out, you went through three strong stories in one peom. I would like to see one more on the end, but maybe that one is not ready to be written yet. Very nice work. Thanks