My Abuse

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Woke up in the morning, only eight years old

Trying to forget all those likes you told

“Sable come here” you said in your scary voice

I really didn’t want to but I didn’t have a choice

If I didn’t you would have came and gotten me

So I walked over to you, as scared as could be

You looked down on me boring a hole through my head

Then you attacked… I thought I was dead

But I wasn’t I woke up with blood on my face

But no bruises, nothing that the police could trace

I tried to get up but I couldn’t

Then I looked down and saw my leg, it looked like you had broken it

Then suddenly the pain was felt

I started to cry so you hit me with your belt

The surprisingly I was able to stand up

“Stop it I yelled” Your reply was “Shut the hell up”

Again I just started crying

You raised your hand then down to the ground I came crashing

Only this time I couldn’t get up and walk

Then I discovered I also couldn’t talk

I crawled to my bed and hugged my knees

You stood in the door way and just stared at me

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

Came home after school when I was twelve years old

I was so excited I had a family mystery to unfold

I went in the living room and took out the photo albums

But I guess that made you mad out of my hand you knocked them

I looked up at you, terrified to move

Then all of a sudden you picked up a shoe

And BAM!! The shoe flung into my head

I dropped to the ground, why couldn’t I have been dead

I stood up and tried to fight back

That was a mistake because my head ended up busted on the back

Somehow I found the strength to fight some more

After it was over I ended up face down on the kitchen floor

Bruised ribs, busted nose, and a busted head

Busted lip, blood face, and yet I still wasn’t dead

I laid on the floor till my mom got home and boy was she mad

After two hours of you fighting with her I grew quite sad

I thought there was going to be all out war

But the only thing that was exchanged was words that swore

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

One morning before school at the age of sixteen

Everything was peaceful or at least that’s how it seemed

We don’t live in the same household anymore so I don’t know why

Every time I come near you, you still try to make me cry

There we were on the second floor

I had just dropped off the kids that I adore

“Get the hell out” I heard out of no where

I was kind of in shock all I did was stare

You walked up to me and swung your arm

But I’m sixteen now, I’m not going to let you draw blood that’s warm

I blocked your hit and you were so angry

So you got even closer to me

Then swung and swung and swung again

I blocked them all so you grabbed my shirt and then

Tried to knock me down, it wouldn’t have worked but unfortunately for me

We were at the top of the stairs, yes pain came to be

Down the fifteen stairs I flew

When I hit the tile at the bottom all I could do was look at you

But no you couldn’t stop there

That would have been to kind for you, I swear

I laid at the bottom of the stairs, as if dead was what I was supposed to be

Then you grabbed the most holy book and threw it at me

Did it hit me? Nope in your old age you’ve lost your aim

We may no longer live together but nothing has changed

 

One day I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain will be over

No longer will I be constantly looking over my shoulder

Oh how I am yearning for that day

When with me she will no longer have her way

 

The same day after that incident

I limped to school and told everyone it was an accident

I remember it like it was yesterday, oh wait that’s because it was

“What happened sable” “Nothing I just fell” the usual cause

When I got to school I remembered it was an odd day

I had all my favorite teachers and I didn’t want them to see me that way

I was late to my third period class

But I didn’t care, at that point everyone could have kissed my a*s

I was late to my fifth period class too

I had a friend tell the teacher something was wrong, that wasn’t entirely true

I mean if I wanted to I could have been to class on time

But to tell you the truth I was just going to skip is that a crime?

I had to just take a breath

Try to relieve myself of some stress

I ended up getting through the day

But I decided I can no longer go on living this way

 

Today I’ll lay me down asleep

And no longer will I morn and weep

The pain is over

No longer do I have to look over my shoulder

Oh how I yearned for this day

When no one with me shall have their way

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This poem is very long, to tell you the truth I could make it into a story. Hope you like it. Please dont be to harsh... is it deep enough?

Reviews

[Laconic Meraki]

Is it time to put my feelings for you to sleep?

It was very deep. 💜

I can definitely relate.

[Moonamber]

Omg...its really deep...n painful..but beautifully dark. Amazing

[barleygirl]

The message in your poem is clear & intense & well-stated. The poetry itself wavers somewhat between good rhyme & rhythm . . . or not-so-much, in places. That's OK becuz the message is strong enuf that the reader is engrossed & not monitoring poetic devices. You've done what I'm constantly asking young writers to do: describe in a sensory way using tons of details. Your poem is a little long, but easy to get thru, doesn't bog down anywhere, & it reflects how long a young life can feel when living with abuse. Normally, I'm not too crazy about using an entire repeated stanza (refrain) over & over . . . but in this poem it works, particularly when we get to the end & see how it's been slightly changed to make an idle wish into a tragic reality. I feel the length of the poem is needed to help a reader FEEL why it had to come to that.

[Kelsey Schadt]

Your poem is certainly deep enough with such an emotional topic. I have two suggestions.
1)Instead of morn in the first stanza, you probably mean mourn.
2) You establish a strong lyrical pattern in your first couplet but then you lose that rhythm as the poem progresses, most notably in the first line.

[jeannemarie coulter]

this kind of abuse is unforgivable...you will find in time that writing about what has happened helps your heartsoul heal...i have been there with a different kind of abuse and it has taken me a very long time to begin inner healing...blessed be to thee as you travel on in life, your word picture was thought provoking...

[Ryanosis]

I really felt emotional pain as I read it. It made me want to cry as I saw the years pass and the abuse continue. It was a little long and might make a great story but at the same time it had an impact on me in this format.

[Angad Waraich]

Wow!!
The story ,the depth and the emotions you bring out in anyone who reads is just brilliant.
Loved every bit of it.
And I could see the the pain in your character.
Cant say anything more.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful poetry.

[Anthony C.]

I thought this was an excellent poem. You portray vivid images through your descriptions and your repetitive use of the beginning stanza enhances the meaning and emotions of the poem. It is most certainly deep enough. I cringed at some of the parts, was enraged at other parts, and throughout the whole thing I found myself yearning for the main character to get revenge. I highly suggest you turn this into a story like you suggested. I think it could be an excellent plot and I would be curious to see where it goes. Well done.

[NebraskaHope]

Omg . This poem took me with every word . It was deep and also very emotional, I wasn't searching for the end because I never wanted it to end . Bravo job

[Suavis_Umbra]

A very good poem , more than just "good" it's exceptional. It reached out to me , abuse of any kind should always be prohibited. Again , an amazing poem , thanks for sharing :D