Prologue (published version)

This is the published version of my book Chariots of Heaven's prologue. I posted a draft before, but wanted to update it so people could see how the writing progressed.

PROLOGUE:

 

 

                The long halls of the Trident were dark and shadowy.  There was scarcely enough light for Aeria to see where she was walking, but she knew the way. Every step she took was surefooted, and the white marble under her feet gleamed in the dim blue light as she made her way down the long corridor.            

Although she was not particularly tall, Aeria was ever the figure of power and strength. Even the way she walked down the empty corridor in her gleaming silver armor exhibited her unfaltering will. Each step was firm and filled with intent, never wavering from her purpose. By all accounts she was quite beautiful, with piercing blue eyes and short, radiant golden hair. She looked a great deal like her father, although his hair had lost its golden hue centuries earlier.

It was to him that she was walking, and on this day she had the highest purpose. They had finally found the crown jewel of the twelve kingdoms, which had been lost to the heavens over two thousand years before. She, the greatest of Velion’s children, had rediscovered it. Great pride swelled in her chest as she marched towards his meditation chamber.

She could finally see the massive, white marble doors at the end of the hall. They were brighter than the rest of the passage, illuminated by lights recessed in the ceiling. As she approached the doors, they began to slide silently apart, disappearing into the walls.

Her drifting thoughts faded as she passed the doors and entered a cavernous room. This room was much brighter than the corridor leading to it, almost too bright. It was circular, with high vaulted ceilings and large, rounded pillars that towered above her.

As she passed the inner row of columns she could see a solitary being sitting in a large chair on a raised platform in the center of the room. The platform was surrounded by floating torches flickering with blue flames and high above it, floating in the air, was a giant rotating gyroscope. The massive brass bands of the gyro revolved gracefully within each other, emitting only a quiet whooshing sound as she approached her father. It was no wonder to her that the civilizations they ruled over saw them as gods.

She climbed the shimmering steps to the first tier of the platform, her armor clinking quietly with each step. Bending on one knee, she lowered her eyes to the floor and said, “My lord father.”

Velion opened his eyes and peered down at his daughter with irritation. Curtly he asked, “Yes? Why have you interrupted my meditation?”

Aeria had expected this reaction, but she knew her purpose was worthy of the disturbance, and with a grin, she looked up at her father. Standing, she announced, “My lord father, we have finally found it! We have found Earth.”

All irritation disappeared from Velion’s face and with eagerness he asked, “Are you certain? I will not be amused if you have made a mistake. Show me!”

With her grin widening, Aeria pulled a small metallic cylinder from within the confines of her armor. She pressed one of the buttons on the side, and it was illuminated with a piercing green light. Growing brighter and brighter for a few moments, the light burst forth into a large holographic projection. Spinning silently in the air, a blue-green projection of a planet approximately twenty feet wide hovered above her head. No longer being able to conceal her excitement, Aeria exclaimed, “See father, I told you I would be the one to find it!”

Velion’s eyes gleamed in the light of the projection and with great satisfaction, he examined the artifact before him. He knew that she was right. He knew that they had finally found what they were looking for; he only hoped it would not be their undoing…

Author's Note

This is the published version, so no need for edits. I'm just looking for tips to help me improve my writing as I'm currently working on the second book in the series.