Growl Opera (From the Balcony of My House)

written ten minutes after witnessing another one of the commonly occurring commotions outside

At the farthest end of the alley, Lady growled
with the music of a set of screeching
tires and performed
staccato sobs as her breath crashed the asphalt.
There were a number of men out there, on woodwork|

-

The fiddling of their saws on strings of plywood
slithered in, to offset
the intensity of her ruthless screams.
Then more went in and dropped
their heavy, gravel-filled sacks
to thud. The percussion should join in.
The bellowing of rowdy wheels behind them blowed
on trumpets and the mezzo-piano
flight of chatter intesified to a forte|

-

Lady belted it out in high B and faltered
at the highest peak.
She fell to scorched ground, knees first|

-

Her scraping flavored the beat and
was immediately followed by a shock clanging
from dropped utensils.
They lined up at the alley amid the silent
voices of watchful tin gates as the dogs barked
to introduce another loud growl.
Lady scragged the pipes of her neck and
suffocated on the harmony and gathered furies
of voices deep from her gut.
She howled a sforzando with the strength of a mule.
Weeping through scabs on her knees,
she drummed the cement with both fists|

-

The rhythm triumphed into a vivacious sparkling
and burned through the collective eyebrow
raises of an audience whose nostrils were fluting
a unified, silent vibration that blended in well.
Teary eyed, the moon chimed its craters
and played the scope of the constricted arena|

-

The tenor came in and sang to Lady’s song
with spectacular notes of upper-cuts
in D minor and hooks in F sharp followed by
a surprising series of jabs in a crescendo, accellerando.
Lady writhed on the floor and growled altogether tender|

-

as she wailed to the vivace�"beating.
The last movement was marked rallentado,
tapering to an unaffective standstill|

-

 

 

 

 

and echoing chatter||

Author's Note

please do give me feedback or harsh criticisms or any comment whatsoever :D pretty please? :D :D

Reviews

[Cayleigh Marie]

What I loved about it was that I could hear the symphony of sounds of the poem. It had a rhythm to it that matched the noises it was describing, which is an interesting technique. The imagery is vivid and it pops. I'm in no position to criticize poetry because I largely believe in poetic license. (That, and I'm really not qualified to make such judgments not being a seasoned poet myself.) One thing I do have to say, however unrelated it is to the content, is that this is labelled under "story" rather than "poem," which was the only reason I clicked on it in the first place.

[Mockingbird]

i like the symphony as a poem. it sounds like the lady tripped and fell and became hysterical. vivid imagery. i like how one line goes into the next like musical notes. excellent job.

[Emma Berman]

I very much like the lyrical (no pun intended) tone to your poetry. Your syntax and choice of words are very good.

[Captain]

I love this. I can definitely see where this can be interpreted as a simply dramatic event or as a play. Your wording is overall fantastic. I would be somewhat more weary of the word 'growl' that you use so much. There were points in your story where I couldn't help but wonder if Lady (being an unconventional name as it is) was in fact a dog. Still as a whole I really do love it and your style. Well done indeed.
'Captain

[Coyote Poetry]

I love your style of writing. The story took me into places and thoughts with amazing description. I like the way each noise caused thoughts and reaction. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[AK]

Brilliant poem! I really liked it a lot:) keep writing!

[freelancejouster]

there's something powerful and stark within this. to make the messages come out stronger, i would suggest perhaps adding blank lines between each image or step, so as to display each better.