1- Last Day

Last Day.  Cali thought when she shot out of bed on that slightly chilly May morning.  It was only 6.30. She looked out the window and noticed how empty the streets were.  But more importantly she noticed the cold glass pressed against her right cheek.  “This is so weird”, she thought.  It was Autumn in Sydney, while in other parts of the world she pictured people shopping for bathing suits and sunglasses getting ready for summertime.  She loved being here and everything about the past 4 weeks of roaming around and experiencing the city and the laid back culture, but Cali dreaded the fact that it was her last day. Soon, she will be back home getting ready for her freshman year in College.  “Aaahh!” She thought, “College!” She didn’t know what to expect but was excited at the same time feeling the butterflies wildly fluttering in her stomach.  She still had a whole day ahead of her and got psyched not knowing what was in store for her on this last day of her adventure in the land Down under as she loved to call it. 

Cali, finally out of her deep thoughts looked behind her to check her reflection in the large mirror located beside her very comfortable but slightly tiny twin bed. Nothing new, she mused. After a month of being in Sydney she stupidly thought that something exciting might happen or that she might change. Like the way her hair looked or the way she dressed or maybe even her accent but all she saw were her deep brown eyes staring back at her. A plain and simple Cali with her messy but straight mid-length dark hair, her usual petite frame that makes people think she’s 15 when really, she’s 18. The night before she settled for a baggy pink t-shirt and her favorite monkey pajama bottoms making her look more like a freshman in high school than a freshman in College.  “Oh well” She yawned, “At least you look young. That’s always an advantage.” Cali smiled to the girl in the mirror.

Knock Knock…She was instantly dazed when she heard the knock on her door. Cali opened the door, Marissa stood there all ready for a new day. Her cardigan tucked under her right arm and her hair perfectly blow-dried with makeup just right for a day out in the city.  “Good Morning Cal!” she greeted cheerily. “Better get ready, You wouldn’t want to miss a second of this day would you?” Marissa said to her half asleep daughter. “ How I wish this day would last forever.” Cali thought.  She had one short day in this beautiful city and all she could do was count the hours passing. 

Reviews

[Zeph]

It's nice, but it could use more disposition and space, especially in dialogues and thoughts.
Also, more adjectives would make the sentences more powerful, longer sentences slows down the pace of the scene while short sentences does the opposite

[CloakedWriter]

Hi Zeph, thanks so much for the suggestions. It's really good to hear feedback esp from other writers. Really appreciate it! I'll keep your suggestions in mind! :) Thanks!