"Judas Under God"

Written for Robin's Contest "RANT" http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Let-It-Out-/14395/

If you could, would you reach out, and let loose  

the suffocating noose? Open your eyes,

to the free sea of salty tears they’ve sold

belied? I’ve taut this neck, burning, seduced   

by abuse. Who will save us from the lies

of prudence they’ve swayed? Rich within con’s gold.

And the spittle, it poured as they bare sign,

raged at creation, which falls by design.

Sacrifice, not suffice, daughters and sons,

wanted for slaughter, seized, to feed their feast;.  

endless supper, there’s no washing of feet.

Treasonous non-anonymous hearts, spun  

to extreme; nuns stand at the pulpit, priests   

preaching for leaches, as the birds just tweet.  

Lend us your hungry, your weak, and your poor,

while we tell them, "We can’t give anymore!"  

© 2011 T.G. Hopkins III 

Orate - "Judas Under God"

Author's Note

Yahoo! Image Detail for - http://www.rezo.ge/gallery/coffee/images/02_judastree_large.jpg
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...

Reviews

[Kerry O'Connor]

Oh excellent work, Tommy. What form and structure to add to the irony of society's dissolution. I loved the use of internal rhyme in the compact form, so many clever touches:

Treasonous non-anonymous hearts, spun
to extreme; nuns stand at the pulpit, priests
preaching for leaches, as the birds just tweet.

Strong, strong piece.

[MOON]

Powerful lyrical write. I love your style.thanks for stopping by.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Magnificent! I see an award badge there and darn well should be! So well crafted that it tickles the tongue when read, and races with the true passion of rant at its finest!

[Tommy]

Thank you!

[ewest1220]

Pretty sure my mind was just blown. I absolutely love the description in this piece I mean you are absolutely relentless! Treasonous non-anonymous hearts spun to extreme, priests preaching for leaches. A very powerful piece with a clear and equally powerful meaning. Great job!

[Tommy]

Thank you Man!

[ewest1220]

No thank you! I don't know if you do read requests but if you could drop some off in my inbox (I forget easily and the read requests are a great way to see peoples work for me) I'd love to read more of you works. I'm on my iphone right now and reading is kind of a pain in the butt on this tiny screen lol

[ewest1220]

Either way I'm excited to read more of your work!

[Tommy]

Right on, same to you, just send them in a message though. I get way too many read requests to keep up on...

[ewest1220]

lol I have about 26 right now. I just dig through them as fast as I can and hope that people can be patient w/ me.

[Tommy]

Some people take advantage of the read request, sending five new pieces a day...I'm hard pressed to get one new poem out a day, when I am feeling it...

[ewest1220]

Makes sense. I can send you a message but honestly I don't have much on here I've only been on this site for like 4 days. I do have my featured poem Broken Rain I think you might enjoy. But past that I would love your opinion on anything of mine you'd like to read.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This one hits home for me cause I believe all organized religions are just legalized cults for they all use fear as a tool to guide their flock and not love. Excellent rant.

[Magdelena]

Wow Tommy. This blew me away.. Not only was it brilliant, it brought forth excellent imagery throughout.. Chilling descriptive writing.. Bravo!!!

[cartera]

Oh oh. Here's an angry man. Strong stuff. Poetically, it is well-constructed and with great word choice. Controlled anger. I like the idea of the poor and the huddled masses being loaned out. The 'poor' is such an interesting concept.
Loaning them out for all sorts of purposes seems a good thing to do, doesn't it?
Maybe I'll borrow some, if only I could think what to do with them.
Well done.
ATB
Alex.

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

Brilliant! I love
"Treasonous non-anonymous hearts, spun
to extreme; nuns stand at the pulpit, priests
preaching for leaches, as the birds just tweet. "

[SpitfireGrrrl]

Gave me goose bumps - excellent write!

[emmajoy]

If ever there was a more magnificent literary rant, show it to me! Superly created work with a heart speaking conscience. There's a humming in the wings by the untrustworthy.
Apologies, for my mood but seems we're being shafted from people in high places, whether government, faith or certain elements of society - in other words, the so-called power-mongers. ' Who will save us from the lies~of prudence they’ve swayed? ' All those in agreement, please sign your X on the invisible line of hopelessness

[Aidz]

kewl write Tommy, enjoyed the read