Mindset

A mind is a person 

For it is what keeps us alive



What is in is out

Doubting what has turned you around



What's grey turns black

If you wear that awful mindset 



Going forwards is bad

What's behind is what's keeping us alive



Things that are, become the things that were 

If what's behind turns into something that's neither good nor bad

It can destroy the mind instead 



Without a mind there is no awareness, and without awareness, all is lost

Reviews

[Hailey Juliet]

This is a really cool poem! I like the use of simple language as it is very effective in conveying your message on a philosophical topic which can get rather hairy. I've written a bit myself on the idea of the mind over body, a sort of posthuman perspective that i think this poem also falls under.

The use of words like, "bad" and "good", usually bothers me because I think that there are so many better and more powerful words to use to express something more than simply good or bad, but in this case, i appreciate the simplicity of the words and the conciseness of the context in which you use them. Typically, as a piece of criticism, I would say that finding more interesting vocabulary for such feelings and ideas would be a good idea, but in your poem i think that it is the simplicity of the line that makes the word work and be effective.

Going forward is bad

It is so simple, yet the message is conveyed in the most basic terms so that the line is accessible, understandable and relate-able to all.

If I could offer any criticism, I would suggest perhaps more connectivity between stanzas and ideas so that an idea, metaphor, or motif at the beginning of the poem is completed, reprised, or finished later or at the end of the poem. Sometimes i felt that each stanza stood alone as it's own idea and did not necessarily relate directly to the previous or next stanza, but that is just my opinion.

Overall a good read and i'll definitely be checking out your other work!

[Thomas H.]

Thank you so much for your kind words.
I have noticed myself that my poems tend not feel like one flowing story.
I will try to change that in the near future.
Once again, thank you so much for your lovely words :))

[Hailey Juliet]

You're most welcome! Having said what I said about connectivity, it really doesn't mean that the way you did it is wrong because poetry is an art and art is subjective and never "wrong". So if having fragmented stanzas is part of your style, then it's also perfectly valid to embrace that and run with the idea and see where you can use the form of your poem to complement the content.