Believing

Im finding it hard to believe that its been nearly a year since I lost you. Nearly a year since you tore my heart out for her. As much as I wish I could forget, I can’t.

I can’t believe the way you made me feel when you looked me in the eyes and told me I was beautiful. I can’t believe the way you took me in your arms and held me like I might disappear into thin air if you let me go for one second. I cant believe the way you kissed me like I wasn’t real, like maybe you were dreaming.

I am finding it hard to believe that it is gone. That I had to say goodbye to you nearly 2 months ago. Yes, its been that long. I’m finding it hard to believe that I wake up crying at midnight because I miss you but I made a promise to myself that i wouldnt get in contact with you again until after mocktail. Now that it is so close, maybe it is time I said goodbye for good.

It still hurts each day that I dont talk to you. it hurts not knowing if you are alive or dead. Not knowing if you miss me too. I dont know if you are hurting or if you wonder how I am going. I dont know any of this but it is best if you dont hear from me.

Im finally beginning to believe that you were an amazing part of my life, but that part of my life is just another chapter. The chapter called Isaak. Goodbye Isaak. May you be forever happy in your life