Given Up

Sometimes as the days go on in relationship, one person falls more in love while the other falls out love

You didn't seem like you,thoughts scrambled, distracted

Whenever I asked about us, you seemed as though you didn't notice

Afraid to ask how you feel, didn’t want to give the wrong impression

Now I wished I never inquired because my heart has been abstracted

A lot of things have happened between you and I

The hurt, the confusion, the feelings of demise

But one thing I can remember is that you never lied 

Instead held me close and told me I’d be alright

I’ll be honest, there were times when I felt unsure

Almost left what we had to pursue because I was not sure of what we were

Though this was at the beginning, when you confirmed

Now I’m asking again but there is no clear answer

There is no innocence on my part, it’s not all your fault

Don’t apologise, we both had accepted the risk to fall

Guess I thought you would always be there through it all

So this is how it feels to be alone with people deaf to my calls

Alone with a stuffed animal to clutch

Blindly in the night while haunted by memories of us

Watching memorabilia and happiness turn to dust

Crying quietly in the night, wondering what is love

Eyes sore, swollen from the pain trying to escape

Holding back more tears threatening to streak down my face

Because if I burst, the words I hide from are the ones I’ll say

That I missed you and wished you could stay

I can’t ask you to feel something you do no longer

Pressure your heart to bring me in just for closure

Don’t know how long I can stand the exposure

When all I wish was that we had ended up closer

I’m struggling with this new sense and a need to understand

How it is when I questioned us, you were hasty to give in

As though my presence was not needed, my greeting an annoyance

To the point where I grew hesitant to even tell you when something happens

Distractions are an occurrence, yes I know

But feelings are not something to be ignored

To the point where you’re on and off, while of your feelings, I remain unsure

Making me think I should make it easier for you and just choose to leave as my choice

You simply reacted at me with no surprise

Sadness envelopes me, greeted with this sight

What was the difference between then and this time?

I guess your heart decided a long time ago to give up this fight