Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was already nine-thirty in the morning and All Saint Baptist Church was a forty-five minute drive away. I wore the black low-cut sweater Cody loved and a cream-and-black paisley skirt. I left my hair down and natural because I knew Cody had always liked it that way. After a swipe of mascara and some lip balm, I was ready to leave. After making sure my car keys were still in my purse, I started towards the front door. "Wait!" Marie screamed.

She hopped out of her room on one foot, pulling a black pump onto her other. "Marie, what are you doing?"

"We are coming with you, of course," said Eric, who had mysteriously appeared behind me.

"Guys, you really don't have to. I'm going to be a mess the entire time." I was already feeling massive amounts of tears threatening to spill over.

Eric gave me a gentle hug. "All the more reason for us to come," he said. Marie nodded.

That sent me over the edge. All of a sudden, I was crying into Eric's shoulder, probably getting mascara all over his black button-down shirt.

Marie handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes and another two travel packs for the rest of the day. She tends to tear up when she laughs too hard, so you can always count on her to have extra tissue. The tissue that I wiped my eyes with came back black.

"I'll go grab my waterproof mascara," Marie said as she walked away.

*  *  *

The ride to All Saints was miserably quiet. Eric insisted that he drive, as if I was not fit to drive. Pu-lease. I was fine to drive. Well, mostly. Who am I kidding? I was shaking so bad I would have wrecked just trying to get out of the parking lot.

During the ride, my entire relationship with Cody was replaying in my head. The late night phone calls. The good morning text messages. How understanding he was when I told him that I wanted to save sex for marriage. Sure, we had our rocky places. Once, a friend of mine said she had seen Cody with another girl at Ruby Tuesday, where she had worked at the time. She described her as "an eccentric girl."  When I asked him about it, he was extremely upset. Saying that a relationship was all about trust and if I couldn't trust him to not cheat on me then this would not work out. I believed him without a doubt and apologized extensively. Compared to many other relationships, my relationship with Cody had been relatively obstacle-free. With the exception of this one last humongous, life-shattering obstacle.

"Anna?" Eric said, snapping me out of the flashback. "Anna, we're here."

I rubbed at my eyes with the crumpled tissue in my hand. Eric held out his hand and I took it with an appreciative smile.

Inside the door of the church standing on an easel was an enlarged copy of Cody's senior portrait. I could make out every detail. The perpetual five o' clock shadow that I always loved. His goofy glasses that just fit him somehow. His average brown, average length hair. All pulling together for a look that made my heart go crazy every time I saw him. But he was gone. I silently promised myself that I would do what Cody would have wanted me to do in this situation. I would move on without him, no matter how long that took.

Deeper inside the church where the service would be held, I was assaulted by a strong floral scent. Bordering the entire room was a dazzling assortment of flower arrangements ranging from a few wildflowers in vases to 5-foot tall arrangements in every color of the rainbow. It was beautiful but it just didn't feel right to me. All the people, all the attention. That isn't what Cody would have wanted. He had a few close friends and his family. He never strived to stick out of the crowd. It bothered me that this service was not properly perserving Cody's memory. The pesky voice in the back of my head said, "What are you complaining about? You made no move to help with the service. So shut up and pay attention."

Marie, Eric, and I were seated in the middle section of the church, right behind the two rows reserved for family members. At the front of the church, a young blonde was singing about being able to move on through the pain with the help of the Lord. That was exactly what I needed to do. Move on through the pain. Not so much with the help of the Lord, though. My family was never really religious. My mother believed that my sister and I should be able to make our own decisions about our religion. Cody had always wanted me to come to church with him. He thought it would do me good to be "saved by the Lord." No, thank you. I will do exactly what my mother raised me to do. I make my own decisions. And no one will take that right from me. I am strong and independent and if Cody thinks he can take that from me, he has quite a shock in line for him! Next time I see him I'll--

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" My conscience flew into action. "You are at his memorial service. And you are bad-mouthing him? What kind of person are you? You should be ashamed of yourself!" (And somewhere in the back of my mind I was registering that my conscience sounded way to much like my mother.)

Back in reality, I had my head between my knees and was rocking back and forth. Slowly I realized someone shaking my shoulder and saying my name.

"Anna? Anna, what is wrong?" Eric said, focusing on me with his ice-blue eyes.

"I... I need air." I stood up and walked out with the entire congregation watching me.

I stood in the parking lot for a grand total of ten seconds before telling myself I was being childish. After a stop in the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, I snuck back into the ceremony. Since Eric and Marie were almost all the way in front, I decided to stay in the back for the remainder of the service.

The first thing I noticed was that there was a new speaker at the front of the church. The second thing I notice was that she looked like the boldest and most confident girl I had ever seen. She didn't look any older than twenty. Her dark brown hair fell gracefully to her waist with thin pink highlights framing her face. She was wearing a black fitted tank top, a black-and-pink plaid miniskirt, and high-heeled combat boots. Why she was chosen to speak was way beyond me. I tuned back in to the real world.

"--but I feel like his impression is still here. Cody was an amazing person and an even more amazing friend. He was always there for me. I loved him with all of my heart. A girl couldn't ask for a better boyfriend."

While Eccentric Girl went back to her seat and my brain struggled to process the information I was just given, I glanced around the congregation hall. Eric and Marie were heading down the aisle towards me and Cody's mother was looking at me with a mix of pity and confusion. All of a sudden, my brain was unable to register which way was up and how to stay standing. Eric took me into his arms like his bride and I stayed there in stunned silence as the three of us left the church.

Reviews

[Kurt Gargis]

Nice...Sledge hammer ending outta nowhere. I love those kinds. Keep it up, kid!