Colors

an entry on emotion as expressed in colors

Colors

 

I gaze from outside my window unto the dullness of the sky, its grey and the sun is white; my heart is black. The grass upon which I lay my head when I feel aloof has turned a dirty shade of black, its as if my crestfallen burden of a heart has not remembered to turn the lights on. I feel numb and I drown in the indifference of the world and all its objects towards me. Mind my rambling, I’ve intended to write of colors but I only feel black. Some ill feeling is dragging me towards this illusion I see. All that is reflected unto me is dark and I try to paint it with rainbows but this dreary sun turns it all black.

      No, I must be mistaken, the shivers hypnotize the hair on my back as I come to realize that I am all black. Breathe deeply, watch the colorless embers come dancing down this downcast autumn, this melancholic trip of dreadfulness, watch them fall on the balconies of my heart, gather them all and throw them back again into the abyss of my soul. Quiet now, shush me, I’m dancing within my sickened mind, I need to close my eyes, slowly for this absence of color is staggering to this mind.

     I close my eyes, and I see the moonlight as it bathes the contours of her face, tears dripping unto the golden sun of her cheeks, her hair falls behind her neck and I feel my heart race with every detail that engulfs my mind. The stars stretch to oblivion forming an array of velvet red as I picture her smile. That’s when my eyes open up again, and the sky is silent blue, the sun is alternating hues, red and golden flairs of ecstatic yellow, drink it up like Vincent drank the paint to drown the dreariness. Every color now reflects an emotion lingering within me, and every emotion seeps through the tiniest aspects that sway this canvas of a mind which has no connection to the spectrum of colors lest the image of this morbid love crashes down my coldest veins.