Weird

It'll come to you.

It's dark.

Oh so dark.

I am floating

all around.

Make no sound.

speak no word

fear nothing

fear the ground

cold right here

head is hold

grip so tight

now a pull

shoulders hurt

then a sound

laughing loud

laughing proud.

no name yet

just a hold

bundle up

nice and warm.

first time dry

since I came

smile wide

smile same.

open eyes

oh so bright.

fear nothing

fear the sky.

try to look

but can't breath

everything

magically.

I don't cry

too happy.

give me food

something to eat.

words go by

I dont care.

all I hear

is "weird"

Author's Note

Think about being born. Get it?

Reviews

[Brasso]

I like it. The Form suits birth, in that it could represent the umbilical cord. The language is amazing - simple and innocent like a child. The imagery works to put confusion in the readers head. Rhythm works, though I'm not sure what it is. Tone is great and the Structure, particularly the enjambment to represent the confusion of a new born child is great. Overall, a great poem with perfect use of emotion, however I refuse to give it 100 because nothing's perfect

[Rhona Mae]

..and just now, I felt weird.
Nice piece. ^_^

[salvador (camuel choisu..]

i liked it even though it has some phrases that may not seem possible to understand i actually got it the first time great work of art.

[Cody Wiggins]

oh i so get it now i was so lost i got it now it was very good though and to add on to what varul said who doesnt hate spanish

[Vartul]

Whoa! Stupendous.You're a good writer.i like the poem,and you get the weirdness perfectly.the short lines make for a very different kind of poem,and i'm delighted you kept it this way.

P.S-even I hate spanish. :)

[Nickle]

ha...wow i love it...i had no idea what it was about but when i read ur note it all clicked in my head...wow...this is the first time ive been stumped by the meaning of a poem and then understood it so clearly after i figured out what it was...i liked how u transitioned the different parts of the baby's life and how u included emotions and imagery that the baby had...good write :)

[Michael Carr]

alaround. *typo alert*

it's nice, I enjoyed the style, really gritty, but not in an overdone, overbearing way. it's quite powerful and the imagery is great. would have even hoped it be longer, but the length is a major factor in the piece with this sort of style and I think you nailed it before it was given a chance to wear thin.
good work bra.

[Randal Bright]

I think probably one of the coolest things about this poem is how you formed it. The short stanzas give me a sense of "hurry" and really invokes the emotion in this poem. If you read it aloud, you'd end up speeding up through this poem. Great poem! "It's so dark. Oh so dark. I am floating." That really does give the imagery of being in the womb. As well as "Give me food. Give me something to eat." Hungry just after being born!

Haha, I do get it. And I like how the lines are short, like fragments. Maybe because babies don't generally think about just one thing. Their emotions change quickly.
Good rhythm too.