Your subliminal message decoded

A recent out pour from a relationship broken off, finally, today. It was long and dragged out and they liked to throw the blame, even when I did nothing. No turning back, though I still love them.

When will you ever love me enough to really know me

Love is something you proclaim, but you've yet to show me.

You hold me, and from hello you stole me and since then you've been my one and only

but still you don't feel as if you own me.

Is it because I don't surrender enough of myself to you for your liking?

You claim to be trying, but is love really for what you're fighting or,

is it something else?

What your lips hide, your actions tell 

and giving an honest attempt is something at which you repeatedly fail.

I've learned to accept you for who are: a liar. and promiscuous.

And the moment I begin to turn is the moment you put into it.

Well, I want this time to be too late.

No more pretty endings to our fate,

I think me walking away leaving you in hazes of grey rain is much better.

Turning back to you is organized on my list of nevers,

and I scribbled your name at the top.

You never stop to think, until you think to stop.

Writing me excuses on why I didn't work for our fit,

YOU LIED.

You must've thought feelings in my body long died,

from the batteries of an abusive ex,

who would've guessed I'd be running to my next?

Picking me up when my confidence was low

training my heart to fit your soul

and then crushing it in similar ways...

Kissing my scars but your kisses kill,

like I'm on a deathbed, love you I will,

but will I be loved?

Love isn't shared by pushes and shoves,

Love isn't crushed by smothering hugs,

but you do...

I must've never learned how the cards work,

because I'm a queen, but I continue to play the fool.

Author's Note

Don't mind the title, I just thought of something quick, I never title them really. Send suggestions.