Untitled (Suggestions?)

A poem about being fed up with all that's wrong in my personal life, and how society keeps us repressed.

I can't stand myself. Everytime I cry I look myself in the eyes. Examine the crease between my brows, my sorry excuse for a smile. My nose turns bright red, my hair looks quite a mess. Laying hunched over on the bedroom floor, I cry silent tears behind closed doors. And examine all the wrong in my life and how EVERYTHING will NEVER be right. Because I have a sorry excuse for a mom, because my dad's been long gone. Because I was fostered on a faulty foundation, which keeps bumping me into the same situation: loving people who never do nothing for themselves, and disconnecting MYSELF, from every.one.else. My heart reaches for the skyy, but it keeps being weighted down by lies by, "You can do it, I know you can.", but when I need help no one's there to lend a helping hand. Man, it seems like if you start off at the bottom you remain damned. Can, I get a break? Clear these thoughts from my mental slate? Layout a new game plan. Turn to God cause he's the only man who CAN, erase seven thousand dollars in medical bills, protect me from these fraudulent deals. The kind my mom keeps involving me in, but when I get caught it's like she dissolves and, I'm tryna go to school, but I gotta work to live, and I'm running on an empty battery, so how much more can I give, if, I could erase the pain, I'd go through the motions without going insane, blame, the nation the majority like to call free, but it's funny cause society has a gridlock on me.

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

I like your openness in this piece. It surely does make it harder to not have a solid good start in life. However, I want to tell you that with God all things are possible. You can rise above your situation and be victorious. In the meantime, writing helps to process your thoughts and feelings. Love the last line on this poem.

[HopelessDreamer]

I love this poem because your so open about your experiences unlike lots of people that can't find a way to express them self.Thats why i love poetry it lets you release all your emotions which is something you did here. Great poem and your a great poet,

[*~* ReAdInG Mu5iC *~*]

Great poem! You are a good poet!

[Amber]

Thank you! What was your favorite part? More will be up soon!

[BloodyMary]

I love how you worded this!