The Death Of A Paper Lantern

What do you do when love consumes you?

     Once upon a time, I fell in love with you. It came to me on a cold winter day, right after we first met. I didn't plan to, but it happened. I fell. Hard. 

     I hoped that one day you would see me. Look at me, the way I looked at you. I allowed my feelings for you to consume me whole even though I knew it  to be fruitless.   I sought for you, weeks on end. You never looked at me that way. And it hurt like hell. But I must have liked pain a bit too much because I let you trample my heart time and time again.  

     

     Sometimes, I would have visions of you. Whispering words as sweet as ambrose in my ear. Professing your feelings. But when that moment  came, everything around us became a veil of smog. It would all fade away into nothing. I no longer had you in my grasp for the smog would swallow you completely. And there I was, stuck between fantasy and reality, between the need to wake up and the desire to remain captive in a dream. 

     Those visions came and came until they were gone for good. I forgot your name, I forgot your face, I forgot your voice. I forgot you.  Loving you was toxic, as if I willingly breathed fumes, just to get high on the memory of you. All it took was one song to remind me of you again. I was trapped in that same vicious cycle I put myself in. Love, pain. Love again, pain again.

     I grow tired of chasing after you. It messes with my head, with my emotions, with everything. So I choose to put a stop to it. Now. You know what you do to people like you? You let them go. This is it. I bind every piece of you to this paper lantern. Light it up. Set it free. You're free. You were my light, but now I extinguish it with every fibre of my being. Thank you for teaching me how to be my own light.

Reviews

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

When love spreads within the body like a virus, the body has only 2 options, fight it, or accept and learn to live with it. To fight love is to never find acceptance of oneself, but to accept is to know love exists, not only in others but also in yourself, for yourself.