Chapter 1

Aiko loving but angry

“There are 50 sectors and only one of then isn’t under the control of the king, that is where all the thief’s, murderers and extremely poor people live.” Says Aiko to her teacher

“Yes, that is correct. As usual you know the sectors and who’s in them.” The teacher replies

“No far, I don’t understand any of it,” says a girl with blonde hair in the back of the room

“You’ll both get it sooner or later,” Aiko says packing up her books “Can you teach them? I want to get so fresh air.” The teach allows her to leave and gets back to teaching the other two girls in the room. Aiko runs outside dropping her books in the hall, “what a beautiful day it is,” she says running around in the middle of the garden.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you meant to be in class?” asks a tall man wearing a black suit

“Yes, well my sister are a lot dumber than me when it comes to the sectors.” She replies walking up to the man

“Well then while your hear theirs something I have to tell you and your sister at dinner. So tell then to meet in the great hall tonight,” He says walking inside “Don’t take too long outside you have music lessons next.”

“I won’t papa,” she says running to the nearest tree. As Aiko starts to climb a tree she sees, so fire and rushes inside “Quick, there’s a bombing outside.” She yells running into the classroom grabbing her sisters and hiding underneath a table. Then a large bomb goes off, but it doesn’t hit the house “I’ll go have a look,” she says crawling along the ground. Before she gets outside other 3 bombs have exploded

“Get off the ground Aiko, the bombs won’t touch us.” Her dad laughs as Aiko gets up, when Aiko sees a bomb coming her way she stands there terrified as the bomb hits something. Aiko looks again and sees all the bombs are being stopped by this pale force field, you can sees the bombs hit the force field but the destroy themselves. Her dad counties to laugh, when he stops he say to his butler “Tell the guards to kill all the people that are trying to kill us now.” After 10 minutes the bombs stop                 Aiko knows that they are all dead, she goes to the classroom and tells her sisters everything and runs into her room. Aiko falls on her bed and starts crying, after she’s finished crying she looks at her harp and walks over to it. She sits down and gets her hands ready on the harp,

“Dear God,

Please protect all those people who just dyed and yet the souls be purified. I would like to sing a song for them if I may,

You are safe now, Yet your spirit sow,

 Into the gates of heaven, Where you can see our God,

Don’t be sad, You’re better there then here,

Let your families cry, But not for too long,

As they need to move on, And be happy for you

Try and be happy with all the others that joined you,

One day you will be back, And start anew.”  She says while playing the harp, after she has finished she goes downstairs into the great hall. When she gets there she hit herself I hate my father for doing something like that she say to herself trying to look like normal. Her sisters and father walk into the hall

“Well were all hear so let’s begin, the prince is coming here to see if one of you should be his queen. Even though Izumi and Kanna maybe too young for him he may still pick you, but I hope he does pick You Aiko. And if he doesn’t then that too bad we’ll just have to look at another noble family.” Her father says looking at Aiko

“I will near marry the prince or anyone you pick out for me.” Aiko says slapping her father across the face and running back into her room.   

Author's Note

Grammar terrible

Reviews

[ObsidianSiren]

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, the grammar is bad, but using word document will help with that. I use that all the time and just having someone read it helps a ton too. I didn't understand the jump from Aiko being outside and seeing fire to bombs being thrown at them. Maybe add some more detail to this? But otherwise I think this is awesome :) Btw thank you for commenting on my story. :) You are the second person ever to comment on it :) Thank you.

[semppu]

New to this site and group, so I chose a story at random. Noticed you did the exact thing I learned not to do only a few days ago. Take out as many of the "he said" and "she said" unless it is absolutely necessary to distinguish between multiple character's dialogue. To revise an entire novel addressing this is an arduous task to say the least. I do like the one sentence paragraphs though even if they are generally discouraged upon. It helps provide a thoughtful emphasis.

[Weeping Willow]

Thanks i try and fix them as soon as possible

[Ruby]

you need to fix it up a bit but it's really good I love it :p

[Chloe]

Interesting story line. I can't wait to read more