Outside Looking In

You mock me,

though you do not know.

How could you?

Sit there and say those things?

For words cut,

like silver lined daggers,

but of course,

you would not know.

I try to fight,

plea with myself,

but the girl standing behind the mirror,

shakes her head sadly,

"Tis not enough"

she says.

So I continue,

lies,

lies upon countless lies,

to cover,

the pain I feel.

As I shrink back,

into a form unknown,

how could you not wonder?

You see me change before your eyes,

lie to your faces,

but won't listen to the signs.

Oh many a time,

I have tried,

to send a plea your way.

Has the wind blow it away?

Have your ears ceased to hear it?

Nonsense, 

I stand close enough.

I just want,

want so bad,

to be happy again.

Am I selfish for that?

To want that for myself?

To hold it all inside?

Until the pain of life,

is too much for me.

Oh you numbers,

how you mock me.

How you ridicule my existence,

and threaten my life,

everyday,

every hour.

I die because of you,

you with the numbers,

and words,

that mock me.

I am something i'm not,

because the wind has blown it away?

I should think so,

maybe.

maybe,

please,

just this once,

I need you...