To Go Away

Their stares,

it's torture.

Mine too,

really.

The eyes,

all of them on me.

They judge me,

I just know it.

All the lies I've told,

mother how could you not ask?

Sister why do you not tell?

Do you wish for me,

to waste away to nothing?

It feels that way sometimes...

I sit in my room,

away from the devils,

that tempt me.

I'm trying to change,

I swear!

I will be what you want!

It will only cost me,

my life.

It's okay though,

by the end I will please you.

I will be good enough for you.

I will as skinny as you wish me to be.

No more stares.

No more judging.

Isn't that right?

You disgusting creature,

that's me there,

staring into the mirror.

"Never enough,

never enough,"

it calls.

And so,

the battle rages.

I am drowning! 

Please I beg!

Someone save me!

From this fruitless monster,

I have become!

It's never enough,

once you start.

As the lies come filtering through,

like the sand down my fingertips.

Tis sad,

they say.

When a lonesome goes down this path.

I do not think like they do.

I just want to be okay again!

I want to be loved again!

So go away,

and let me finish what I've started.

Because once enough is enough,

my light will leave,

never to be seen again.

To save me,

is to go away,

to my place where I have left.

The place I fear I will never return to,

to the place where the laughter runs dry,

So save me,

because I cannot speak,

and do not wish to.

Here I have gone,

To Go Away.