Thee murder of intolerant bees

  It's the decline of Western civilization and I am the last of my kind standing on this fully operational land mine. Encircled by blind snarling hyenas waiting for a pin to drop. With Reason gone as a wanted fugitive by the Elite mob of non-carnivorous dinosaurs. There seems to be no hope for Hope, who is a neutral gendered hermaphrodite giraffe and me, a stoic caveman who has wandered into this eco-friendly land of processed milk and synthetic honey.

   My crime is being me. While the world curtsies in equality for everyone. I have become the new enemy of humanity. I am slapped with wet nodules of hypocrisy, repeatedly. They speak a language I can't seem to understand with pre-apologies before every insult while they slap away my outreached hands. It is seen as a form of aggression. 

   I'm told that I have angered the environmental gods with my false religious right not to die in a timely fashion. In doing so, I have denied and violated their rights to begin the process of forgetting my existence. Because of this persistence of life, I am stung repeatedly by honey bees. Then I am charged with their murders! For you see, some have died from losing their singers, who are still stuck in me! I stand before, confused and sore on a polluted air exploded landmine no more.

  

   I am brought to a judgement arena where a virtual zoom crowd roars. I am charged with 52 counts of premeditated bee murder, because they said I knew my very existence would finally result in this. Dumb founded by the lack of logic; who was last seen skiing in the Poconos with Common Sense. Why? Who knows? It doesn't make sense, but there is a good chance logic is behind him.

Back to the situation at hand...

   To no surprise and gleeful eyes, my sentence is handed out as I circumvent the mind-altering madness of rapid air pollution exposure and multiple bee stings that brings me to shout out abruptly that the judge's white wig offends me. That's when she laughed and reminded me that I can't say that because I'm white! That's when I shocked them all and said  " Oh no, you're mistaken. I'm not white. I am an atheist albino trans feminist who decides to keep my dick to piss on sexist chauvinists!" Upon this senseless proclamation, her eyes pop, zoom jaws drop from the haves who took all from the have nots. Then, as stupidly and suddenly as this is stated, there revealed cheers for me! and my gender race reveal. The Giraffe beside me faints as hope is lost, with the zoom crowd's cheers turning to calls for my new gender name? In a story of downright idiotic exaggeration and long-winded turns, I decided to go simple...Jessica.Yes Jessica is my name.

   In this story, it is insane. They cheered my name "Hooray for Jessica!". I roll my eyes from the toxins or lack of sense, which is still missing.They ended up carrying me out as they imprisoned the judge in a giant jar of mayonnaise. I later explained that the bees that died when they stung me only did it because they didn't respect my trans ethnicity! Everyone, of course, agrees. I am then labeled a hero as a statue is made of me with the carcass of dead intolerant honey bees. My statue, which many years later will be torn down, now stands proud of a man like a woman stomping on a white wig near that reads:

'Jessica the atheist albino feminist murder of intolerant bees.'

by the unknown sith....Jessica.
 

Author's Note

If you can't laugh at this Oh so true story then you should fuck yourself because your already fuck...might as well enjoy it!
PS: 52 intolerant honey bees were hurt in the making of this.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I didn't laugh (actually, I cried), so I went & fucked myself just for the fun of it. Naw! Just kidding! I get you loud & clear. There's no possible way to emit a simple fragrant fart these days without offending the antiquities. I'm surprised we're not obligated to don a*s-masks to eliminate any unwanted fart-overspray. I'm too old & forgetful to keep track of all the ways I might offend the world at large & this is why I am hunkered down in the wilderness, alone & trying to keep my farts to myself. My dogs don't mind the random well-perfumed fart & hopefully I can reach my final curtain without any of my offensive qualities seeping out & causing me to be slapped with a fine or worse yet, having to sequester my farts within a crowded jail. Your writing makes me wish I could get as far "out there" as you get! But at least reading you helps me stretch it a bit (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Delmar Cooper]

"If you can't laugh at this Oh so true story then you should f**k yourself because your already f**k...might as well enjoy it!"

I need not waste the effort when so many are waiting in line to do it for me.