A clear bright day

I wrote this for a class reading, when I was 13. Reading it now, at 19, I can't boast that it's very good. But I think it's important for me to pay homage to the person I had been, to the skills I then had, before I describe my evolved self here.

A shadow of grey had hid the morning sky

I looked up at the blue and breathed a heartfelt sigh

My eyes searched the vastness

for a hopeful crack in th grey

The winning smile of the morning sun

And the promise of a clear bright day

 

I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer

willing my wish to be true

And as I finally opened them

I stared at a stretch of clear blue

 

I ran out of the house, dragging my cycle along

Speeding by the town houses, singing a tuneless song

I left behind the houses

I left behind the streets

I left behind the people

As I sped toward the fields

 

Once outside the town

I had still a long way to go

So I sped up a little

And then a little bit more

 

My heart did race faster than me

As the wind whispered hoarsely in my ears

It told me to hold on to my dreams

And leave behind my fears

 

Thoughts and feelings that had been bound so long

Flowed freely in me

All my restraints fell away

And showed me how fearless I could be

 

I raced to reach my haven

A place that's truly mine

It lay beyond the horizon

Where I could see my hopes shine

 

I reached the foot of the mountain

As the road twisted uphill

I toiled up the mighty height

To reach a world, quiet and still

 

I got off my cycle 

And held it by my side

I looked around me

And saw my heaven stretch wide

 

Not just the clear blue sky

But the rustling of the leaves

The stillness of the mountain wood

And the quiet strength it achieves

 

My heart steadied itself

As I drew in the air

I had reached my haven

A place that's truly mine...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

It's long.
I corrected a few basic grammatical mistakes, the poem is otherwise unaltered.

Reviews

[Crazy Cat Man]

great piece

[Yaooooooo]

for a hopeful crack in th[e] grey

I reached the foot of the mountain
As the road twisted uphill
I toiled up the mighty height
To reach a world, quiet and still

Love that scene, i can actually picture it and feel like if i was there for a second. Thanks for the request, and keep them coming. Is interesting how we change as we grow up, the way we use to think and the way we think now. I see that my writing is constantly changing and it evolves as i do through the years to come. All we have is experience to gain and much more to write...
Thanks for the request...
One!

[Candle in the wind]

I love the zest of your young spirit to will the gloomy grey away and open you eyes to a stretch of clear blue.I wished wistfully that I could pillion ride on your bicycle and race along with you to that realm of your dreams.It is a beautiful poem and vividly evocative

[Heaven]

I like this. It has a lot of good imagery on it. Like the person above, there are a few mistakes but this is really good other than that. It has a lot of feeling to it, and it was a nice read! ;) Glad to see people are still writing and putting up their stuff on writers cafe. ;)

[Gary H]

This is a very pleasant journey one can imagine a 13 year old writing. Personally I don't think this is too long. Maybe you are thinking this because of the stanzas being four lines each? Making them into eight might help? Anyway, thats not the point as I understand you wanted a starting point here from the past. This works well and shows great potential.