Chapter Ten

Entries by Patrick Symmonds and Hayley Edison

"What it was, whether man or beast, I could not tell."

- Bram Stoker's Dracula

An entry by Patrick Symmonds

If I was going to become the beast, I was going to do it alone. The further from Hayley I got, the more secure I felt for her. This is sick¸ I repeated to myself in my head as I walked towards my car. The one thing, the pure thing, the beautiful thing that was holding me together was the same thing I kept coming so close to tearing apart. I loved her and hated myself, and perhaps therein lay my dilemma, because from the time I sunk my teeth into the nape of her neck she became a part of me. And that part was the worst- an ever present vile symbol of my affliction- so archaic and yet so fresh... pink, tender scars.

I agonized over the possibilities- what would it have been like if I wasn’t a vampire; if I was normal? My life would have been normal... my family, my house, and the way I felt for Hayley would be real and unclouded by all this sickness. I was split in two; one part of me battled the other, and both yearning for the same prize: Hayley. I was both Jonathan Harker and Dracula, and this raging war inside me grew a glutting darkness.

My car engine roared and I sped out of the school parking lot. My foot was glued to the accelerator, and I tore through traffic. A smile crept across my face as I felt my heart-rate skyrocket. I had no idea where I was going.

***

An Entry by Hayley Edison

I stood staring at him as he walked away. I couldn’t move, and I felt my heart drop- that sinking feeling consumed me. Dread infiltrated every inch of my being, suddenly I was too afraid to follow.

“Hayley?” A voice behind me called and I turned. Alice, Sarah and Charlene stood there, looking betrayed with their eyes fixated on me, arms folded. “Are you not even talking to us anymore?” Alice said her every word soaked with a kind of malice that created a burning feeling in the back of my throat.

“What do you wanna hear?” I choked out, feeling my throat close up with sobs that were waiting to force their way out of my lips.

She squinted her eyes at me disbelievingly, “We’ve been friends since the 5^th grade,” She added with a scoff, “All of a sudden Patrick comes a long and we don’t count anymore?”

“That’s bullshit!” I spat, “All you ever seem to do is make me choose between you guys!”

“You’re making a huge mistake,” Alice said, “You’re too different... It’s only a matter of time before...” She trailed off and I realised she had seen the scars on my neck. My hand instinctively reached for my neck and I saw her eyes widen as she took a step back. Sarah and Charlene exchanged glances. “W-wha... Hayley...” She stammered and looked up at me wide-eyed. “What did he do to you?”

“I asked him to,” I said with a grin and without thinking. “Maybe we’re not so different,” I snarled, making them gasp as I took a step towards them. They looked horrified, and I was happy. I scoffed and walked away, brushing past Alice.

“T-that’s against the law!” She called out after me, but I just shook my head and kept walking. I tied my scarf around my neck again and made quick paces towards home. “Hayley!” I heard the exasperation in her voice and for some reason felt a prick of guilt I couldn’t shake.

It was against the law, but was it a mistake? I battled with the answer. I bit my lip and felt my eyes fill up with tears, trying to disbelieve the voices in my head that chanted “yes”. Patrick meant everything to me, and that moment we shared in my room... I had never felt closer to anyone else in my life. I liked the way I could coax that darker side of Patrick out of him, and I liked the way he blushed and shuddered every time we touched. I liked the way he seemed so out of depth when he kissed me, and I liked the way he held me down- his grasp scorching like rope burn and making me shiver. I liked the way I could make him give in, and how far he sunk past the brink- his eyes glazing over in a golden hue.

“How do you know my name?” I heard him say and searched my brain for the answer. I didn’t really know how I knew... I just knew.

“I dunno,” I replied, “I guess-”

“You heard people talking?” He said with his back still turned towards me.

I didn’t reply; I just wished he would turn around. There was something about him that drew me in instantly; his face was mesmerizing- even if it was almost always kept under the shadow of a hat. He was endearing, shy, and he was hurt. Something, someone- whatever it was, it had hurt him, and I could tell he carried the scars. They weighed down heavy on his chipped shoulders, and they must have been a really big secret because he didn’t talk to anyone.

Ironically of course, this usually means everyone else is doing the talking for you. I had heard the speculations, the gossip, and the ridiculous stories about Patrick Symmonds; the loner, the freak, the social ghost. He was probably right; it was likely I had learned his name through some sordid rumour.

He didn’t say anything else for awhile, he just gathered his books and stuffed them into his sling bag. “Do you want something?” He asked suddenly, pushing a Biology text book into his bag.

“No,” I scoffed, “I just... you should tell the principal about Axon...” I said.

“Sure, then he’ll find me and slaughter me,” He smirked. I saw his puffy looking pink lips curl into a smile and it was infectious.

“Do you wanna join me for lunch?” I asked and he looked up at me. He seemed perplexed, and I laughed, “You look like you need all the protection you can get,”

“Thanks,” He scoffed, blushing as he zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

“I don’t bite,” I smiled, and our eyes met again. “Promise,”

I remember thinking how pretty he was, and how pure he looked. All the other vampires I had met were different; they carried around their bestial heritage and wore it in knowing grins that made you shudder. They were beautiful, but in a way that was marred with danger and contention. I remember thinking about how sweet Patrick was, and how endearing his shy little split second smiles were.

I missed him.

I walked up the driveway to my home and saw Hayden playing in the tree outside. “Hi Polly Wolly!” He called out.

“Hey,” I paused for a moment and looked up to see him grinning back. “What’re you doing out here? Isn’t Pokemon on or something?”

“The door was open,” He said and I saw the green front door was left ajar. “And it’s dark inside,” He shrugged, “Mum said-”

I didn’t wait for the rest of his sentence. I knew what mum had told him to do in case he came home one day and there was something unsettling about the house. I crashed through the door and stormed down the hallway. “Mum!” I yelled out, throwing my bag aside and feeling tears well up in my eyes.

I saw her then, lying still on the rug in front of the fireplace.

“Mum!” I screamed and ran towards her. She was so cold. I saw her scarf on the floor and picked it up to wrap around her mechanically. “Mum!” I sobbed and held her.

***

An Entry by Patrick Symmonds

I missed her.

The place I had ended up in had me in raptures... all the dark things that lived here enthralled me, addicted me, and held me close. I was afraid, but in love. I stepped through the crowds and wondered what I was doing there. They were so beautiful. I was so different.

I had never set foot in a Fang Club before; I hated the idea of these places. All they did was segregate us from the others, and remind them of our disturbing history. The things that happened in places like these were made of the blackest black; not your average club spun debauchery. There was murder, hosting, and of course rumours of transformations. The Brady case would be a mere joke in comparison.

And yet, there I was, falling through the crowds at a Fang Club called The Manor. Maybe I thought it would have been nice to revel in the darker side of myself for awhile... I don’t remember. But there I was, out of my depth and hoping no one would notice.

Their dark eyes followed me, and I caught glimpses of intrigued expressions and knowing smirks. I could smell that familiar copper scent; it hung in the air and drowned my senses. It made my skin tingle, and I licked my lips as I succumbed to a feeling of debilitating ecstasy. The smell was so rich and intoxicating I could practically taste it.

I closed my eyes and felt the darkness reach out and touch me. The voice in my head whispered “I’m home” and I breathed out a sigh.

“Patrick?” I opened my eyes and turned. I couldn’t believe it.

“Andrew?” I blurted as he stepped through the crowds and lunged towards me with a hug.

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