I would fly

When I was a kid,
I would fly.
And I would watch the world grow smaller, smaller
Smaller…
…until it disappeared below me.
In my dreams, I would fly
Because Hey- it’s the best superhero skill a kid could ask for.
I would fly, because I was free.
When I got older,
I discovered I could fly outside of my dreams,
Or rather make my dreams reality.
I would fly when I ran at just that right pace,
Where endorphins rushed through my brain and I forgot how heavy I can breathe
I would fly when I reached that summit,
And learned beauty can never be contained.
I also learned I could fly while high, during sex, and maybe making choices I probably should not make.
I would fly and I would watch the world disappear.
I would leave everyone below me to deal with what I cannot handle.
Because reality is too much
I am too much when my feet are planted firmly on the ground.
I am not grounded in reality.
I am imprisoned in my own personal mental hellscape.
So I chose to fly.
But this is not a dream.
And now I’m falling down.

Reviews

[Green]

"I am too much when my feet are planted firmly on the ground"
That line hit me pretty hard.

There's so much about this that I loved and I don't know how long it's been posted for but it feels like a horrific loss that it hasn't been reviewed yet.

This was emotional and raw. To me, it felt kind of like a "coming of age" poem. We've all imagined we could fly as a kid (or had some other super power), but usually we like to pretend that we lose that bit of ourselves as we get older. We become "too mature" for things like that. But your poem showed that we very much do the same thing just in different more concrete ways. We still seek all those same feelings that pretending using to give us.