The sun is dying

The sun is dying

and I haven't saved up enough light

My shelter is filled with rows of

bottled rays, stored pieces of shimmering white

Enough to last me a couple of dark days

and maybe a couple more

When the endless rains hit

there's nothing much left to say

of what lies beneath the flowing rivers

or what came before

I can't knock on your door now and ask for

another bottle to fill, maybe a couple more

when really I yearn for what's inside

I can't beg you now for what I

could never give in return

The sun is leaving

and I haven't got enough time

to tell you about the countless hands

in the dark, clinging to me

To tell you while they're taking me

apart, that I don't want to be a being

of the shade anymore

When the rivers come

and try to seize me, should I let them

or keep fighting the stream? Will you

forgive me, if I let them carry me out

to the open sea? I won't drown

completely;

just a little

and maybe a little more

Please

Allow me this retreat

I can't bear to see, can't stand

the light in your eyes leaving

  cannot handle you

looking away, cannot handle you

looking at me

But share with me a piece of your sun

and I'll burn forever

and maybe a little longer

Reviews

[carl]

this is a very intriguing piece of work. The somewhat fantasy nature of the wording and structure adds a mystery and attraction which would be lost if more plainly written. Well done. I'm hesitant on the word, "Please" seems almost to interrupt the flow, if I may say. I enjoyed the read greatly, thanks for the post. -carl