The Dance

An older one I wrote about a relationship that has lost it's passion.

What eludes me is this...

How you circumvent

  Dancing your ballet of seeming ignorance.

 

While I'm left watching your brilliant movements,

Too much in awe to feel dissapointment.

 

But it's when Im alone that I notice the holes,

The empty and the transposed.

 

It's probably nothing,

But my nagging heart wishing,

 

That I could have what I've been missing.

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

Very well written piece of work here. I love how you are able to express yourself so perfect that any one that reads your words is able to feel the emotion and strength of them. I always enjoy the thoughts that your words leave laying in my mind. I always apprecaite being left to think and ponder.

Great Job!!!!!

[Vanessa Whiteley]

This is lovely, very tender and romantic but if it is a ballet you don't really need dancing and if it was me I would use empty and transposed and have 'wishes' rather than wishing. As below:

What eludes me is this...
How you circumvent
your ballet of seeming ignorance.

While I'm left watching your brilliant movements,
Too much in awe to feel disappointment.

But it's when I'm alone that I notice the holes,
Empty and transposed.

It's probably nothing,
But my nagging heart wishes,

That I could have what I've been missing.

[Lisa Verdon]

Wow, this is beautiful, my friend. The girfriend/ballet comparison made it seem delicate almost. It is touching and very deep. I so envision you staring, reminiscent, at your spinning ballerina. This one really moved me.

[oneZtwoLLs]

I can relate to the feelings you expose in this prose. I especially enjoy the last stanza,
"It's probably nothing,
But my nagging heart wishing,
That I could have what I've been missing."
I think that's the feeling all lovers have when relationships lose their passion. It feels like nothing, yet how can nothing leave such longing?
Good write.