Open book

when i was reading a book i got lost in thoughts of you

Open book

 

As I look into your eyes I read through the pages.

Word by word, as I get lost in your eyes.

The beauty of the ink of your paper overwhelms me.

The scars on your skin devastates me

Going through the chapters of your intriguing story.

As I am reading the last chapters

It’s as clear as the tears that roll down on your red cheeks like the frost leaves falling down in autumn.

 

You are an open book

Everybody could see it.

Everybody but me.

 

-L.D.C

 

 

Author's Note

please let me know what you think.
and if you notice some grammar problems, please tell me about them i would like to improve my writing skills.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Reading a book and getting lost in thoughts, something I can relate to.. Though I don't think anyone on planet earth is an open book(at least not the ones we want to read 😉)..
I liked reading this! Nicely expressed!

[SmittyJas]

I read this like as if it were a book an open and shut case. Great Bit of writings.

[ANTO]

This speaks to me of a lesson learned too late, of regret and of a pain that isnt ending anytime soon due to the 'misreading' before the epiphany that led to feels described in this poem.
Your strongest yet imho.

[theshygirl]

Thank you !

[Ted Kniffen]

I liked this poem. The idea that you are looking at a person's thoughts as though they were a book is very good. Poems are far more intimate than we like to admit, but the more personal, the more powerful. If you'll forgive me, let me demonstrate.

Open book

I look into your eyes,
and, lost in your thoughts read
through the pages word by word.

The beauty of the ink
on your paper overwhelms me.
The scars on your skin devastate me.

Working through your intriguing story,
as I read the last chapter, it’s as clear now
as the tears that roll down your red cheeks

like frosted leaves dropping down in autumn
You are an open book.
Everybody could see it.
Everybody but me.

By providing more intimacy the reader is drawn in to the moment. Eliminating filler words tightens it up.
In the case of the line " The scars on your skin devastates me" since scars is plural, devastate needs to be singular.

I chose to substitute 'dropping' for 'falling' simply for the alliteration.

Sorry, I probably overstepped my bounds. But there is a lot of potential here. Play around with poetry. Have fun with it. You write well.

[micky]

This is a really amazing piece and I love every line in this piece...well done you did brilliant

[Gerry Legister]

Beautiful lines with an intriguing story, capturing goosebumps beneath my skin

[theshygirl]

Thank you so muchh!

[wordman]

reminds me of the song,if you could read my mind, i liked it !

[theshygirl]

Thank you so much dear

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Gaurav]

It is a nice poem. I would love to meet a person who is easy to read. It is difficult to meet such a person. Thanks for sharing.

[theshygirl]

Thank you so muchhh

[V]

Nice imagery. I liked reading it.

[theshygirl]

Thank you so muchh