Hello Virtual World

Musings mostly. Couldn't find a type that really befitted the writing. Hope some of you do read this

This is  my 3rd attempt at starting some serious writing. Mostly because, I start well and then i lose the plot because I feel afraid of what people think. To avoid that here i am under a word press account that’s not linked to my facebook, twitter or primary email. Rowling did it to lead a life of invisibility and I’m doing it to wear a cloak of anonymity. I am entirely aware that any b grade hacker will easily be able to make out who I am but currently i will operate under the premise , that no hacker will really care about who I am.

From the time I was little, the only thing i knew i wanted to do when i grew up was to be a writer. Somewhere those dreams got left behind and “life” happened. We all hope to multidimensional people who are good at a variety of things. As you grow older however , you find yourself pressed for time and little by little you start dropping things that were an inherent part of what made you, you. We then label this as our existential crisis which is really the favourite word of my generation. What we fail to recognise is that by dropping those little things  that make us who we are , we wake up one day and find that we have lost our sense of self.  So I’ve had my existential crisis three times now . The first time i tried to fix it by adding everyday long walks ,singing and starting a blog. The second time i tried by adding yoga, piano lessons and starting my second blog. This is the third time by which period you’ve understood that the things that make me, me or possess a sense of self involves exercise both physical and mental as well as music.

It is safe to say that i currently feel like a blob unable to carry my own weight both physically and mentally. Writing for me is like me walking through a crowded room absolutely butt naked. Walking around naked wouldn’t be quite as terrifying if i was sure of myself. The way walking naked exposes flaws in your physical form , i feel writing is where i bare my soul and expose the flaws that are the reason for why I am who I am. I am cognizant of the fact that since I have a day job which I still have to carry out , breaking out of this fat blob  may take a while.

So here I am baring my soul, walking around naked in the internet space amongst the crowd.  The only difference is that I’ve cut my head off  and until my body begins to start showing shape in a direction that i think i am reasonably happy about it shall remain this way.

Maybe, just maybe third time’s the charm the idiom set it out to be.

Author's Note

I couldn't find a category for blog , so i realise this is not really a story. What do you think ? I want to be anonymous but would love feedback because there is no way to know if i progress with time or not ?