Chapter 9

 

As Jude stepped through the front door, he was greeted to a nice fat cat s**t on the stair. Jesus Bryn was foul. How was he supposed to clear this up? He’d used all the plastic bags this morning feeding the damn thing. Now the food was sitting digested on the second to last stair right in front of him.

 

He stood staring at the excrement while he thought about how best to dispose of it. There was a spade in the shed. His father had got it for him for Christmas a couple of years back. Bit of a rubbish gift then but now he realised that everything does indeed happen for a reason.

 

After scampering to and from the shed in his bare feet, he began scooping.

 

It was disgustingly without substance and Jude ended up smearing it all over the carpet trying to get it on the spade. It didn’t help that he had to stop ever 30 seconds to lean over to the side and retch. It took all his willpower to stop himself from being violently sick.

 

Once the pile of faeces was balanced precariously on top of his gardening tool, he began to carefully carry it out into the garden. He held the spade parallel to the floor, arm outstretched, the other hand holding his nose and mouth to prevent him from vomiting.

 

Apart from one worrying moment when he almost tripped over Bryn’s bloody catnip toy, Jude managed to get out into the garden unscathed. He contemplated scraping the crap off the spade with the side of his foot so that he could keep the gardening implement. Then he realised that he didn’t have any shoes and so just put it in the skip just outside the back gate. He didn’t know whose skip it was, but he as thankful that it was there.

 

He looked overhead and the gathering storm clouds and suddenly became aware of how cold he was. He picked his way back up the lawn, being careful not to tread on anything undesirable. Like cat s**t.

 

It was too cold to carry on walking round in just his T-shirt, but not cold enough to wear a jumper. What a to-do. Then Jude remembered the impulse buy cardigan from last week and developed a feeling of increasing happiness and his own common sense.

 

 

He even looked past the brown stain on the step. He would get rid of that later.

 

The cardigan was in his room but unfortunately, there was something stopping him from putting it on. Bryn had parked his big furry arse right on top of it.

 

That cat seriously took the piss.