Welcome To My World

On the surface
People often see me
Smiling or joking
Yet if you dig
A little further down
You find a different story.

Of a woman
Whom never seems
Able to reach
The point of equilibrium
Even with the aid
Of Anti-depressants.

Those smiles and jokes
You see and hear
Are real.

Although
Lasting a couple seconds
Before disappearing
Back into depression
Again.

Am so tired
Of living my life
Constantly
In depression.

What passes
As normal for me
Would be depression
For the average people.

As my happiness line
Stops well short
Of most people’s
Baseline of happiness.

I can not remember
The last time which I was
Truly happy for a week
Or longer.

Just once
I would like to
Experience
What true happiness
means in my life.