Only Wishing Thinking

Thought things would be different
Once I had open myself
Coming out to you
How you were
Always preaching your openness
To me.

Never realizing the dangers
That this would become
As a part of my life
When the emotional stress
Began to take its’ toll
Upon my body.

Time took on
A different meaning
Both physically and emotionally
Than one would normally
Experience in their own lives.

Each passing hours
Came to represent
One more tear shed
By my already redden eyes
I grew distance
From your moral support.

Flooding my apartment
And all within it
Until nothing remain
Dry to touch.

Still I held out hope
Things could
And would change
Between us.

But I was
A foolish girl dreaming
Black and white
In a land of technicolour dreams
Just did not know it
Until too late.

As our friendship turned sour
You tried to change me
From whom I am
A Transsexual
Who is a lesbian.

Should have realized
A Leopard can
No more

Change its’ spot
No matter
How much I wish it so.

Author's Note

Another part of my early days, of transitioning and the mistake of opening to a closed minded born again Christian.

Reviews

[Georgiakevin]

Your poem is such an emotionally charged poem, one that tugs on the reader's heart. I wonder why so many are so afraid of even the word "transsexual"?

[therisa]

As I have mentioned in private correspondents with previous reviews, I don't hold the entire Christian community, to be closed minded, rather just this particular individual, who tried to make me, into someone that I am not. Hope this clear any misunderstanding people may have, in regards to this poem. Thank you.

[Rebel Angel]

Ive seen christian act this way, but i also know so many christains who accept no matter what. I dont think they are all bad. I understand this must have hurt. i think the poems great it feels like you talking to the person who you write about. Well done.

[NyanMeow]

I agree with "Midnight_Mystery". Reading your poem and that the source of it was an experience like that with a Christian...all I can say is that I'm sorry. We really aren't all like that.

[Midnight_Mystery]

as a christian, dont let that experience taint u. not all of us are like that. shame on them for judging you. beautiful poem though :)