The Doll

A long poetic short story about acceptance.

Stacey stood
Before the glass shelves
Barely moving a muscle.

Where Jane
Her older sister
Kept her valuable collection
Of porcelain dolls.

She had been warned
Numerous times
Not to touch them
But temptation kept her
Coming back
Each time
For one more touch.

“It’s not fair
Jane gets dolls
And I don’t”
Stacey thought to herself.

The Grandfather clock
Started to strike 4 pm
In the living room.

As a panicky Stacey
Raced out of Jane’s room
Back into her own
To change back
Into her “male” self.

Before her secret was known
By the rest of the family
Stacey was really
A 12 year old boy
Named Stuart.

Who had been dressing up
For the past 3 years
Since he realized
He was
Really a girl trapped
Inside a boy’s body.

Although
He had not try Jane’s
Or his mom’s make-up
It was only
A question of time
Before it happened.

Normally
He put away
All his feminine clothing
Without leaving any telltale signs
Of them to be seen.

Which he had bought
At a local thrift shop
On a dare
Last Summer
From one of his friends.

Except this time
A stray pair of navy blue nylons
Poked out
From his highboy dresser
Missed in the rush
To change back.

As Jane poked her head
Into his room
To see
Where he was
And what he was doing.

Since the house
Was totally quiet
Quite unusual for Stuart
Since he played
The Cure
24/7.

A quick scan of his room
Showed Stuart
Sitting on his bed.

Trying to understand
But growing frustrated
With the assigned math homework
Which he could not grasp
The principles behind
The trig questions.

As her eyes roam over
The rest of the bedroom
She saw the telltale nylons
But choose not to mention them
Yet.

Not quite sure
What to make of them
Wondering
If they had been taken
From her nylon drawer.

But wanted solid proof
First before a confrontation
As she left him
Alone.

Catching Jane’s disappearing head
Stuart let out
A sigh of relief.

Only to see
The toe of the nylons
Sticking out
Of their hiding spot.

“Oh God
Please pretty please
Don’t let Jane see
Those navy blue nylons”.

He silently pleaded
Hoped for the impossible
But feared the worse
Knowing Jane will use them
Later against him
Like she always does.

Dejectedly
He replaced the nylons
Back into their hiding spot
Gently shutting
The dresser drawer.

* * *

Two weeks had passed
Since the last time
Stacey had dressed up
Walking around the house
Freely as herself
And not as the hated Stuart.

Promising herself
She would be more careful
When it came time
To put away her clothes
And tidy up
Before someone saw her
Specifically Jane.

Unbeknown to Stacey
Jane has installed
A small camera
Among her doll collection.

Hoping to catch Stuart
Touching them
Without her permission.

Except Jane was not expecting
What she saw on her monitor
When she got home
Tired from work.

She saw her baby brother
Dressed completely
As a young girl
Wearing a light blue
Polka dotted calico dress
With navy blue leotards
And black patent
Mary Jane's shoes.

The face was completely free
Of any make-up
Except for
The black nail polish
On the finger nails.

Her long glossy dark brown hair
Was divided into pigtails
Two golden hoop earrings
Hung from each ear.

“Holy s**t”
Escaped her mouth
Before she realized it
Hoping no one heard her.

Playing back several times
The image of Stacey
Longing to hold
One of Jane’s dolls
In her arms.

Her hands straying
Just inches away
From totally disobeying
Jane’s command.

“What am I
Going to do with him
And his desire for my dolls”.

Jane thought to herself
Not knowing
Where he got his outfit from
Except it was not
From her’s
Or mom’s closet.

Should I tell mom
About his cross dressing
Hoping to put an end
To his desire to hold
One of her dolls.

Or keep quiet
And see
Where this leads to
Before blowing the whistle
On him?

* * *

A month had since
That fateful afternoon
And Jane still did not know
How to handle this situation
With Stuart.

She knew
If she went to mom
There would be trouble
For all of them
Should dad find out
About Stuart’s cross dressing.

The divorce was painful enough
Without adding more pain
For all involved.

For weeks afterwards
Stuart refused
Any contact with their dad
Feeling that he was responsible
For the divorce
Thus punishing himself
As a result.

No matter
What mom and dad
Tried to explain
To him.

Sighing to herself
As she grew
More frustrated
Over how to handle it.

Jane knew
She had to talk with mom
About this
Before dad ever found out
But when would it be
A good time and place
To do so.

This
Jane did not know
And was afraid
To ask.

Should she use
A hypothetical situation
Which she would describe
The dilemma facing her
Concerning Stuart.

Or just go full force
With her information
Letting the chips lay
Where they lay.

Damn the consequences
To the family
Of telling mom
About Stuart’s
Secret cross dressing.

As Jane wrestled
With her conscience
Concerning her decision
She grew more withdrawn
And moody
Snapping at everyone
Who disturb her concentration.

* * *

“Mom
What would you do
If you knew someone
And had caught that person
Secretly cross dressing?”

“Why are you asking Jane”
Mom asked
Her interest now peaked
By Jane’s question.

Wondering if
This had to do with Stuart
Which she had know
For years about him
And his need to express
His feminine side.

“One of the girls
At school
Has a brother
Whom she catch cross dressing”.

And she does not know
How to tell her parents
So I wondering
If you could help me
And I would give her
The advice”.

Hearing Jane describing
Her dilemma to her
Mom had to smile
And shake her head.

“Jane
If you are meaning Stuart
I have known
About his need
To express his feminine side
For two years
When he shared it
With me”.

A stunned Jane
Stared at her mom
Not entirely sure
She heard right
Mom knew about it
And did not to stop him.

“She requested
I call her Stacey
When she is wearing
Feminine clothing”.

Stopping there
To see how
Jane was handle this situation
Before she continued onwards
With Stacey’s future plans
For herself.

“You knew about him”
Jane squeaked
At her mom
As the information
Sunk into her conscience.

“Yes dear”
Again she smiled.

“Why was not I told
About this mom”
A look of hurt
Spread across Jane’s face.

“Honey
I was not my decision
To make
Rather it’s Stacey’s
And she was not ready
Yet to share with you”.

“Oh”
Jane said
“Would Stacey mind
If I let her know
I know now
Too?”

“Let’s go ask Stacey
And see”

* * *

A quick knock
On Stacey/Stuart’s bedroom door
Was greeted by
A hurried
“Just one moment please”.

“It’s ok Stacey
You do not have hide
Anymore from me”
Jane told her
Through the closed door.

Slowly the door open
As a half dressed Stacey
Looked out at them
Not sure
If she had heard right
From her big sister.

“You heard right Stacey
From me”
Jane rushed forward
Crushing Stacey
In a fierce hug.

“If it is ok with mom
You can dress up
Anytime you feel the need
To do so.”

Huge beaming smile
Lit up Jane’s face
As she spoke those words.

“But you can not touch
Any of my dolls
Which you so
Want to do.”

Reminding Stacey
Of the prohibition against
Touching the dolls
“But things have know
To change around here.

* * *

Stacey had decided
To dress up
For her 13th birthday
Wearing a new dress
Mom had given her
As a birthday present.

Running her hands
Down the side of
The pale blue dress
As they waited
For Jane to exit the car.

Scared
Yet excited
By being in public
For the first time
As a young girl.

Stacey hands were sweating
From her nervousness
But it was too late
To back out now.

Linking her right arm
Around mom’s left arm
As the three of them
Entered the restaurant
Where they always
Went for birthday celebrations.

Dad was already there
And had been seated
By one of the serving staff.

At first
He didn’t recognized
Stuart/Stacey
As Jane had taken the time
To show her
How to properly apply make-up
Another gift from mom.

“Jack
Before you get angry
And do something extremely stupid
You need to know
We have two daughters now”
Mom laid the law
In an icy voice
Which brook no argument
From dad.

“Not in my home
Will I allow my son
To be turned into a silly
By you and Jane”
He bitterly retorted
Walking out of the restaurant.

“Am sorry
You had to experience this
Stacey”.

Mom placed her arms
Around a sobbing Stacey
Trying to consolidate
Her youngest daughter.

Unknown to Stacey and mom
Jane had brought along
A long wrapped box
With her
Into the restaurant.

“Here you go Sis”
A huge smile on Jane’s face
Matching Stacey’s
As she handed Stacey
Her birthday present
Of one of her porcelain dolls
From her collection.

Knowing full well
The impact her words
And gift
Would have Stacey
And the rest of the family.

But she did not care
As long as Stacey
Was happy
Being who she is
A young woman
Blossoming into her own.

Reviews

[Kaden Elias Sylvers]

This is very powerful :)

[An Ordinary Woman]

Blossoming into her own....that's the key thing, the *main* thing.
Beautiful, Therisa, dear.