International Man Of Mystery

Dedicated to my dad (1936-1998)

Although
For 28 years
You shared my life
Until your death.

I never knew
The true you
Dad.

As if
An invisible barrier
Separated us
Emotionally.

For you
Held back
A part of yourself
From me.

While
Making sure
I understood
That "males" don't cry
And suck up
Their strong emotions.

Unintentionally
Your actions
Had hurt me
In more ways
Than I can tell you.

What part
Of your past
Had taught you
To close off
Sharing your emotions
With me?

Was it
Because
I'm so open
In sharing
My emotions
It scared you?

To the point
You couldn't share
Your pride and joy
Upon my completing
An university degree.

Needing
My mom's cousin
To tell me
About this.

Oh dad
There's so much
I want to ask you
About your past
And your actions
Towards me.

But
Won't ever
Have that chance
Given your death
In November 1998.

Please know
A day doesn't past
When I'm not thinking
About you.

And the support
You get me
As I struggled
With depression
And anxiety.

I love you
Dad
From the deepest part
Of my heart.