Hmm....

Some pre-New Year's Eve thoughts.

It's that time

Of the year

As I find myself.

Awash

In sad memories.

Which

Won't disappear

Into the mist of time

Like everything else

Does for me.

Wondering

What am I

Doing wrong

For this

To occur.

If I could

Would trade them

For an updated model

With happier times

Hard written

Into the new core

Of the memory bank.

Why wait

For something

That might never

Happen.

Given

The attention span

We call

Life.

Reviews

[ANTO]

uplifting and solemn at the same time - a difficult juggling act to pull off but you did it here with aplomb
perhaps one day in the not to far off future you will be able to erase such memories - they are already working at it with mice !! true dat

[therisa]

Thanks, Anto, heard about the mice experiments, in the US, but not sure, how it will work with someone, who has PTSD? As there is, some research that points to PTSD, being a physical condition, and not just a psychological one.

[ANTO]

I didnt know that about PTSD (having had it on the lower end of the spectrum I was aware of the psychological consequences) but not the physical - mental health care in Ireland is way behind in my opinion so one must seek these things out so thanks for the education my friend.

the brain research: yes its all in the infancy and the brain is still a huge mystery but inroads are being made :)

[therisa]

Even PTSD being a physical condition, is still, in the infancy stage. I do know, that the anti-depressants don't work for me, rather, have the reverse effect, of making things worse.

[ANTO]

none are a panacea - apparently genome therapy will tailor the meds for individuals (at least thats the theory) so things may be about to take a paradigm shift in that area - we live in hope, eh?

[therisa]

I do know, big Pharma is pulling the plug on its research in this area, due to the cost and lack of positive therapic response from patients (IE too many reported side-effects). As gene research, still too early and too many questions that need to be answered first, before I'll trust it.

[ANTO]

yeah - a long way off I fear but they said the genome would take 10 years and they mapped it in what, five? Supercomputing power doubles every so often according to Moores law and quantum computing will make the modern day supercomputers look like 1960s calculators - anything can happen ...

[therisa]

Still, a skeptic. Remember, what they said, about Prozac, and how it turned out.

[ANTO]

Yeah I read about the suicidal incresed ideation - I found Prozac to be really good though - that was after trial and error with lots of other anti-depressants over a long long time of anxiety.

[therisa]

Anto, I have tried 8 different anti-depressants, over the past 7+ years. And refuse, to try another one. Just can't take the side-effects. Each new one, is more toxic than the previous ones.

[ANTO]

OMG - thats quite a lot of crap to go through each time only to be disappointed AGAIN ...
my heart goes out to you T

[therisa]

Thanks, Anto. Just how life is, for some people.

[ANTO]

I know dear heart - it is life indeed

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this makes so much sense to me....an analogy of our mind being like a computer...the memory absorbs the viruses of life...damages the hard drive so that the good memories disappear so fast, but the bad ones make the computer, the mind run slowly because it is too clogged and has not enough gigs to run smoothly...
at the end of the year it may be wise to totally erase the hard drive and just start over with new memories, hopefully good ones.

nicely done.

[therisa]

Thank you, Jacob, for your kind and generous comments. Only problem will a total erasure, we'll lose those memories, we want to keep.