The Slow Climb

Dealing with my agoraphobia.

Triggers

Events unknown

By the slightest thing

Around me.

But

I refuse

To become

A hermit

Within my apartment.

Having spent

Too much time

Staring at the walls

This past year.

As the agoraphobic fear

Paralyzed me

At the apartment door

With everything beyond

Terra incognito.

Except

I refuse

To remain

A mental prisoner

Any more.

In confronting

These fears

At my own pace

Not theirs.

Knowing

A long journey

Faces me

With every step

Taken.

However

The reward

To my body

And soul.

Is worth

Every second

It takes me.

Reviews

[Tobias Pine]

As an agoraphobic person myself, I can relate to this. Your poem does a good job of capturing the feelings and concepts that agoraphobics know all too well, and it does make a difference to ones writing when it is based on a real life struggle. I'm not sure where, but I got a sense of sincerity out of your poem that I don't think I would have if it wasn't based on your real emotions and experiences. Well done! And well done also with your bravery in facing your fears, the paralyzing, choking fear is one that requires a great deal of courage to overcome : )

[therisa]

Thank you, Tobias. This past summer, I was trapped inside my apartment, for 3 months. Only through the help of friends, could I exit my place, to do shopping and take out my garbage. This is, the second time, this has happened to me, in the past 3 years. I do wish, I didn't have first hand experience of being agoraphobic. Sadly, many people think, I'm being lazy, in not being able to leave my apartment. Never having experienced a bout of agoraphobia, in their lives. Am hoping, you're not experiencing it, right now, Tobias.

[Tobias Pine]

Sadly, many people have misconceptions. Many people view the panic attacks that I have when I'm out in the city as sad, pathetic and think I suffer from some sort of mental disorder. It was my family and friends that helped me to push back my fear to a certain degree. They helped me to realize that I was allowing it to control me and to dictate my decisions. They helped me to see my fears for what they were, and I think myself making slow, but steady progress to breaking the chains that agoraphobia has me.

[therisa]

Tobias, am grateful, you have been able to surround yourself, with supportive and understanding people that huge step, forward, for you. :) As for myself, my next step, is to be able to take the local transit system, without having an anxiety/panic attack, while using it. As I have a dentist appointment, next Thursday. The dentist is another one of anxiety issues, as I have anxiety attacks, while sitting in the dentist's chair. My dentist is one of the gentlest people, I have known. Except I had a very violent experience with a previous dentist, who threaten me, with force, as a 7 year old.