A Plan Doesn't Make One, Suicidal

Reflecting back, on my nurse practitioner's concern on this.

Don't understand

Why my having

A suicide plan

Is so dangerous.

Shouldn't

The same level of concern

Be expressed

Towards terminally ill patients

Who have similar plans?

Just because

I have a plan

Doesn't mean

I'm suicidal

In anyway.

Well

Several plans

Actually.

But

It doesn't change

My situation

How many plans

I have.

One just have

To read my poetry

And you will get

An accurate picture

Of my mental health

At any specific moment

Of time.

And yes

There will be times

My poetry is dark

As I explore

Parts of my brutal past.

But suicidal

Not today

Thank you.

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

What we think about, even what we write about does not make it true. You are very open with your feelings and I appreciate and admire that therisa. It takes courage to face ourselves and our demons.

[therisa]

Icelandicblue, my poetry is, another form of therapy, which I try to be honest, to myself, and those, who read my verses. Often, what I write, it's my subconscious trying to have a dialogue, with me, whether or not, I want to.

[Duckey]

I really like this, and it is very true. Well done!

[therisa]

Thank you, Duckey. Just wish, I didn't have to share or write about, this part of my life.

[Duckey]

I understand that feeling. I have struggled with a very similar thing, and as much as i try to avoid it, it always seems to come out in my writing.

[therisa]

Duckey, I use my writing, as a form of therapy, to release, what I can't talk about, with other people.

[Duckey]

I do a similar thing, with this topic, and also things in general, things i wish i could say to people or tell people but i cant.

[therisa]

It sucks, some times.

[Duckey]

It really does. My poetry is almost always about one of two people as well, and one of them had read a lot of it and does not realize it's about her, which is one of the most frustrating things ever.

[therisa]

Have you told her? Or are you scared, how she might react, in a negative way?

[Duckey]

I haven't told her no, i am very scared how she will react. My poems like "I see you" and "you" are both about her, and i don't know how she would react if she read them, if she would take it badly or not.

[therisa]

Is anyone else, you can share your concerns with, and not expose her?

[Duckey]

Well i have spoken to my councilor about her, but didn't day who she actually was. This girl just worries me all the time, and the thing is, she is one of the few people i really love, but she is in such a bad place at the moment.

[therisa]

That's a great start, Duckey. Just wish there was more, I could suggest. Please stay by her side, during the darkest hours, she may not say it, but your companionship will be appreciated. I have a special friend, just like you, who has helped me, over the past 8 years, during some major traumatic events, in my life. Thank you, Duckey, for sharing this, with me.