Being Left Behind

Encouraged by, KL Goode's, "It's part of my personality, you said.", to share this part of my life.

I can still picture

Within my mind

The disaster zone

Your apartment had become.

 

Even though

Sixteen years have passed

Since that date.

 

My senses assaulted

By the smell

Of urine and feces

Everywhere.

 

As I helped

Mom and dad

To clear the wreckage

From your alcoholic descent

Into Hell.

 

Each piece removed

I watch my dad's

Emotional control shatter

Unlike anything

I have seen

Before.

 

Breaking his heart

Into a thousand pieces.

 

Which

He never recovers

As he dies

Two months later

On November 15, 1998.

 

While

You disappear

Off the radar screen

For several years

Before resurfacing.

 

Causing irreversible damage

To our family

As you hid away

In your stupor.

Author's Note

A part of my past, which I have rarely talk or have written about. From this, I would eventually, realize, my true self, as a woman trapped, in a male body, on November 15, 2005.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

I am deeply moved by your pain, your words, your honesty here. Addiction's consequences are far reaching, and yes, they kill our family members, in spirit in body and in mind. I hope in some small way this poem helps with the ongoing process of healing.

[therisa]

Thank you, KL, for your kind review and words. This poem is, one of my first steps, in placing this anger, in it's place.