Agoraphobia's Grip

It's month's end

And cheque day

For my disability support.

 

Normally

Not a problem

Until June 9th

When I found myself

Having to confront

A long absent companion.

 

Truthfully

I had hope

His last visit

Was the final time

We would meet

But I was wrong.

 

Can see them

Exchanging their elaborate handshakes

Talking about old times

As they updated

Each other.

 

That was then

And this now.

 

 

I need to leave my apartment

To get life's necessities

Both for myself

And the cats.

 

Not even dressed

But I can feel them

Ganging up on me

As an anxiety attack begins

B******s.

 

If it was possible

I would've them

Strung up

By their short hairs

All three of them.

 

Reminding myself

Only need to

Get outside

And their hold disappears.

 

Easier said

Then done.

 

Can feel my heart

Beating like a hummingbird's wings

With each step taken

To the door handle.

 

One final wave of fear

Is unleashed

As I unlocked the door

And step

Into the hallway.

 

Body shaking

I walk to the lobby

And the outside

To start my shopping.

Author's Note

Originally written, August 14, 2014.