Bitter Pill

Part of my struggle with Sertraline

Air of melancholy

Floats around me

As I watch

Death of a dream

Murdered before me.

 

Of a hope

Being able to manage

My chronic depression

And anxiety

With pharmacological aid.

 

Can hear

My inner critic screaming

At full volume:

 

"What the Hell

Were you thinking

Asking for this medication?

 

"Freaking stupid girl

You know

How sensitive your body is

To these type of meds.

 

"But here

You go ahead

And do it

For the eighth time

Talk about insanity."

 

Which point

I tuned him out

Focusing inwards

On my rebelling body.

 

Hoping for a solution

That for four months

This drug has failed

Making my situation

Worse.

 

Never mind

Return of my migraines

Triggered by

This drug.

 

Or my visit to

The "throne of pain"

As my body cycles

Between diarrhea

And constipation

Oh lucky me.

 

I know

Where I want to place

These toxic pills.

 

Except

Would be exchanging

One prison

For another.

Author's Note

Originally written, August 27, 2014.

Normally, I'm not a violent person, this time, I will make an exception.

Reviews

[willweb]

Very deep and has a somewhat desperate feel to it, mixed in with the anger. I liked how moved about. I really enjoyed this today.

[therisa]

Thank you, willweb, for reviewing this poem. In many ways, am venting the growing anger and frustration, I am experiencing, with this SSRI.