Walking Towards Healing

A breakthrough, in my own healing.

Hatred

A diseased void

Which fills my heart

With it's toxicity.

As your blows land

Upon my body and soul

In a blind fury.

Shattering

A developing psyche

Already brittle

From past abuse

By others.

Only now

Decades later

And many false starts

Can I admit

To myself.

I

Am

A Survivor.

And not

The continuing victim

Of abuse

From the actions

Of others.

Just saying

Those words

In my mind

Fills me

With anxiety.

Knowing

I must face my past

And the memories

I hold.

To achieve

This fiercely fought victory

Of healing and renewal.

Author's Note

For the first time, in dealing with my past, I am able to called, myself, a survivor. Previously, I have fought against this, feeling I hadn't travelled far enough, in my healing, until last week.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A survivor indeed and a great writer...Thank you for sharing...:).................

[therisa]

Your welcome, Sami. Only wish, what I am writing was fictional and not reality, for me.

[Sami Khalil]

OK. You are welcome...:).....................

[Frieda P]

Knowing where this comes from and part of the back story just makes my head spin furiously. Toxicity go hand in hand with abuse, being a survivor is no easy task. I know this anxiety well, you are a fierce butterfly warrior, you've proven it with your courageous words here therisa. Brava!

[therisa]

Thank you, Frieda, there are days, which I struggle with this, especially, the mental abuse, I suffered from the hands of my mom, who can't accept me, as her daughter.

[Frieda P]

Words are powerful, as you can see here, that's sometimes the hardest part....baby steps, you're doing fine.

[:o]

No one has the right to harm you in any way especially physically. Be proud of yourself and never let it happen again. If it does call someone right away if you have to.

[therisa]

Thank you, Lacyboo, the abuse, I am writing about, took place during the 1980's, when I was growing up by family members and those, whom I called friends, at the time. I have since, broken all contact with my family, and slowly, feeling better about myself. Thank you, very much, for your concern about me. I appreciate this.

[:o]

That is heartbreaking to hear. You're very welcome.

[therisa]

Sadly, many members of the LGBT community endure abusive history, from family members and those, close to them.

[:o]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[therisa]

So am I, Laceyboo, but I am facing up to that history, one poem, at a time.

[:o]

Good for you. I wish you luck and strength.

[therisa]

Thank you, very much.

[Jack...]

So very often the paths we walk are laced with fear and pain, but know that somewhere the darkness lifts and this path opens to a beautiful meadow, wating for you to bask in its warmth. Very sad but encouraging poem this day my friend. Nicely penned.

[therisa]

Thank you, Jack, for your positive comments, on my release of these toxic experiences.

[Emily B]

yes, oh yes

finding the courage, myself, to tell current abusers no more

[therisa]

Good luck, Emily, on your journey to reclaiming your life.