Inside A Women's Homeless Shelter, Part 1

In order, to advance myself, there are times, which I had to take several steps backwards, before I could move on. Like the loss of my Brampton apartment and moving to Toronto, where I stayed at a women's homeless shelter, I will be recalling those days, in the next two monologues.

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Inside A Women's Shelter, Part 1

When I think back upon June 2007, the ancient Chinese curse, "may you live in interesting times", is the first thing, which springs to my mind, given the tumultuous events that happened to me, Talk about an extreme culture shock, to one's system, going from, having your own apartment, to living in a women's shelter. As I severed all references to myself, as a male, and started living my life, full time, as a woman.

Three months prior, to losing my apartment, I had quit my job and politely told my boss, "to take this job and go screw, himself". For the first couples of weeks, I took off, I needed to emotionally and physically recharge my body and soul, in the vain hope that I would find work, soon. Sadly, it was wishful thinking upon my part. The long hours of work had been replaced by, a mental stupor, leading to, another bout of depression. Vainly, I assumed, my tentative beginner's steps, in the writing of poetry and spending time online, chatting with friends, would help me, to maintain my mental balance. We have, all heard about the old saying, about assume, "it makes an a*s, out of you and me".

 

Why Toronto and a women's shelter? Simple, Brampton does not have any services for the Transcommunity, at the time and not sure, they are providing it, now. At the time, the regional county of Peel, which Brampton is part of, didn’t have any programs for the Transcommunity. Trust me; I had a former social worker look around for me.

Please bear with me, as I need to give you, some historical background, here folks. In 2003, the city of Toronto adopted a shelter standards policy, which I quote:

"…all homeless persons have the right to shelter service regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Staff must respect and be sensitive to the diversity of residents...Discriminatory and racist incidents or behaviours are not tolerated."

Hence, my reason for selecting a women's shelter, I know, without a doubt, I would not survive a night, in a men's shelter, given the strong homophobic and transphobic sentiments, by the men inhabiting those shelters. Hope your eyes, did not get too glazed over, by the brief history lecture. Additionally, my doctor's office is located, in Toronto; there I have made contact with a very progressive and supportive nurse, named S. Advocating, by my side, as I tried to find my way, through the "human jungle", called the homeless shelter. But also, counselling services for the LGBT community that are only available to residents of Toronto, due to a catch basin policy.

Am trying to find the right words, to accurately, describe my time in the shelter, without sounding ungrateful, for the assistance, they gave me. You do not realize, how big, of a change, it is, to go from being able to decide everything in your life, to a rigid and inflexible schedule that does not care about your needs, especially dietary needs, because you do not eat any pork. Or for health reasons, as an individual, who is trying to deal, with several yet-to-be diagnosed anxiety issues, like post-traumatic shock disorder (PTSD) or severe chronic depression.

Forced to eat a diet that is heavily loaded with sugary and starchy foods, while very light on fresh vegetables and fruits. I understand, the shelter has to operate, under a very tight budget, and is dependent upon donations, whether given by publicly spirited corporations, or individuals, and whatever stipend that the city gives, to cover operating expenses. Forcing the shelter to buy what it can afford, given the high cost of food.

I wonder how many women and men, caught in the shelter system, are paying the price, for society's indifference, to this crisis. For me, this was a horrible diet, given my family's long history for diabetes and heart disease. I cannot say, for sure, if the shelter diet was responsible for the rapid advancement, of what happened to me, a couple of months later, after leaving the shelter, when my doctor’s office, informed me, of the Type 2 diabetes diagnosis.

Excuse me, but I need to take a moment for myself, else I know that I will say or do something that I may regret, afterwards.

It angers me, the politicians and policy wogs, wave a chastising finger at the homeless, because, of the rising cost of having to treat diabetes and other totally preventable diseases. Yet, they refuse to address the core issue, in a concrete hands-on means, like increase funding for affordable housing, whether at the federal or provincial level, or provide a livable income level, that a person can survive on. Upon implementing these basic policy changes, homeless people will have a steady foundation to begin their healing, but it must be backed up with a monitoring program that has teeth and not a paper tiger, to appease the voting public. Lost in the red tape that seems to grow, whenever these programs are proposed.

I thank you, for allowing me, to indulge my venting of anger and frustration, at the political system's inability to be flexible, but I need to get back, where I was, before I lost it.