Refocusing

Knowing when to stop

Please

Could you tell me

Which one is

A tree

And the other

A forest?

For I have seen

To lost my way

In my healing.

As the line blurs

Between victim

And abuser

Before my eyes.

Like

A disorientated diver

Unable to tell

Up from down

During their dive.

Leaving myself

Wide open

And vulnerable

By going too deep

With my exploration.

By exposing

Raw and painful memories

Long held behind barriers

To my unprotected dreams.

Where sleep becomes

The destroyer

Instead of

The healer.

Once more

The roles are reverse

As I become

The victim.

Letting you dictate

How I live my life

Like I did

As a child.

But you are

Only a very painful memory

And nothing more

I need to remind myself

After every occurrence.

Until

It becomes

A healing mantra

For me.