Just A Small Pinprick

Trying to release some of my pent-up anger with my mom.

Thought

I had dealt

With your taint

Upon my soul

But I was wrong.

Instead

You lingered

Like a festering sore

Needing to be lanced.

Which threatens

My healing process

Over the past five years.

Letting my anger

Colour our relationship

Mom.

And yet

I cannot let go

Of your hurtful lies

And actions

Over the years.

Mom

Do you think

I am so fragile

That I need protection

From everything?

How can you be

So wrong about me

With our interacting?

Not even realizing

My need for solitude

As part of my healing

Due to an introverted nature.

Or

My ability to perceive

And understand the events

Around me.

Sigh.

Author's Note

Another subject covered, during my June 3 appointment with my nurse.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Your mom is supposed to be your advocate. When she is your adversary - it messes with you at your core. My mom is a dragon - and proud of it. And my core is burned and brittle.
I get this. And it makes me seethe to think about it.
Peace. Keep purging....keep healing

[therisa]

Oh Tammy, am so sorry, if this poem has brought up any painful and unhealed memories, for you. Just thinking about hurting you, wounds me, deeply. I do not see a burned and brittle soul before me, but a strong and defiant flame of light and hope. And thank you, for your encouraging words.

[TL Boehm]

no apology needed. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in dealing with "momzillas"

[therisa]

Thank you, very much, Tammy.

[Emily B]

oh, i feel this to my core

she never admitted she was bipolar, she never admitted that she was ever wrong or at fault or lacking, it's a wonder to me that i survived my childhood intact, it took twenty plus years to heal from it

she wants something from me that i can't give and i don't know what to do about it

[therisa]

Emily, my mom is an unidentified sufferer of depression. Wouldn't be supprised, if I herited this gene from her, with my learning disabilities. She wants an eldest son, not a daughter. Thank you, for encouragement and support that you have given me, as I write about my past.

[QuietlyCrash]

This is tough stuff. I can feel the hurt through your words and that made this read all the better. It's so difficult to let go of those tainted relationships even when we know it's for the best. I had the same dealings with my grandmother, but I can't imagine what it would be like with a mother. It just shows the immense strength you have to walk away and to try to live your life. This is a superb write and I'm glad that you can share your talent and your story with us. Thank you.
Best wishes,
RIley

[therisa]

Thank you, Rlley, for your compassionate review of this poem. It has been a very tough, both emotionally and physically, for me. For I want to share my emerging self and she has slammed the door in my face.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

A journey chosen, pain to endure...You will come out roaring. Excellent read and write.

[therisa]

Thank you, Brandon. It has been a very painful relationship between my mom and myself.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

may wounds heal in time...life is too short.

[therisa]

I have made the move, to break off all relationship with my mom. She'll never change and I can't wait forever.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

A sad lesson to learn for her. Love and light.

[therisa]

My mom turned 74, last April, and she's set in her ways.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

set in stone:)

[therisa]

Sadly, yes.