Years Of Tears - Part 1

Something I need to express.

What you are

About to read

Is not a pity write

Nor an expression

Of self-pity.

Rather

The ripping off

Of a dirtied bandage

From my soul

Long left to fester.

Never thought

November 15, 2005

Would mark a pivotal point

In my life.

After several months

Of soul searching

And self-questioning

Did I realized

Who I am

A Transsexual.

Or that

My life would take

A rather violent change

In its fortunes.

Forced to face

The ugly reality of discrimination

Society has towards minorities

Like the transgender community.

Especially

From my own family

As my mom abandoned me

During my greatest need

For emotional support.

How people

Who I viewed

As supportive

Vanished.

As if

I had become

The next generation

Of Typhoid Mary

To be avoided

At all cost.

Forced to live

A stressful dual life

Compartmentalizing

Every moment.

Whether

As a woman

Within the privacy

Of my own apartment

Or as a male

To the outside world.

Scared

What would happen

Should someone discover

The truth about me

Being buried deep

Within the closet

At the time.

Forced to lied

When I wanted to

Shout out loud

Whom I am.

Reviews

[.]

~ my sanity was repeatedly questioned by my loved ones... two out of the four who did it treat me properly now... (i'm talking about my parents)... but it took them years... the other two don't... that includes an older brother and my soul-mate... my soul-mate left in 2009... i haven't given up yet... ~ i feel sad for my brother and for my soul-mate... they are severely delusional and prejudiced as of now... but (as i said) i haven't given up...

[therisa]

Serah, I have totally broken off all relationship with my mom. I have tried for 6 six years, to hear her say my name, without any hesitation or nerviousness, in her voice, but she can't. I truly hope, you have better luck with your soul-mate and brother, than I did with my mom.

[.]

~ i do too... and i'm sorry that your mom didn't melt... but i'm sort of braver now... because i read your words... i'll be able to cope even if they don't melt...

[therisa]

The courage, has always been within you, Serah. Just needing the proper release valve.

[.]

~ you're right... i'll remember that... thank you for your wise words...

[therisa]

Am just someone, who been around the block, a few times, Serah.

[.]

~ i can tell, dear therisa... :)

[TL Boehm]

That's often the way it is. Those who should support us are the first to jump ship. Even parents don't register the concept of unconditional love and it is so sad.

[therisa]

Sigh.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

people are way too judgemental..and that often forces people to live as someone opposite to what he or she really is...and that is sad to me.

[therisa]

Don't know how this part of society can be changed for the positive, Jacob.