Of Two Minds

Part Of My Inner Conflict

Silently
The digital numberals
Switched to 1 am
On my bedroom clock.

As
Thoughts
Of being pregnant
Fill my mind
Once again.

To
Fully experience
The cycle of life
From conception
To birth.

The
One experience
Which is
Forever denied
To me.

Given
My Transsexual
Nature.

Despite
My stated position
Of remaining childless
In not wanting
Any child of mine.

To know
The type of abuse
Which I faced
At school
And at home.

Sigh.

Is
This natural
To be
So conflicted?

Wish
I knew.

Author's Note

Originally written July 14, 2012.