Replacing One Fear With Another

Part of my transitioning into a woman.

How

Do I explain

To someone.

 

Who

Has never experienced

The traumatic stigma

Which is attached

Being a transsexual.

 

Because

You do not pass

As your chosen gender

To others.

 

Until

One November day

Two years ago

That my life.

 

When

That magical moment

Occurred for me

Passing physically

And with my voice.

 

Removing

A constant fear

Which plagued me

Since I started

My transition.

 

Given

A past filled

With violence

Of a physical

And verbal nature.

 

Sigh.

 

Now

It has been replaced

With unwanted advances

By various men.

 

Believing

They are God's answer

For every single woman.

 

Alas

I do not swing

That way

Guys.

 

Thankfully.

 

Still

The fear remains

Of what would happen

Should they discover

This fact.

 

Am

A pre-op transwoman

Meaning that

My birth genitalia is

Still attached.

 

How

I count the moments

Until I get my approval

For my surgery.

 

Until

That moment passes

I take comfort

In being

Whom I am.

Reviews

[N!LoC]

may i ask... if one is trans-woman.. does it usually mean that "she" is/was phisically attracted to guys in the first place?

[therisa]

No, transwomen cross the entire spectrum of sexuality, just like genetic women do. For me, I have always been attracted to women, as a sexual partner.