Midnight Carnival

Once you pass the gate to the Midnight Carnival, reality and fantasy become indistinguishable. Choose to lose yourself in this beautiful timeless place or wake up and find that there is nothing there.

    

     The girl stumbled blindly into the chilling night, with her hands outstretched and her mind a sea of haze. She was only aware of one need even as her lips cracked, her toes complained and her cheeks flushed red with frost. She needed the warm golden glow in the finally approaching distance, where there would be relief for her mind at long last, a place that existed only in her dreams. She had been searching for it in her waking hours for every past troubling year. There was nothing she wanted more than that familiar warmth locked deep within her memories.

      Her breathing had gone heavy and rugged, lungs pinching and legs shaking, but she had no will to stop. The thought of basking in those golden lights, of letting them soak into her skin and to feel the comforting pressure of drowning in their artificial warmth was so tangible and so real, more than it had ever been. She could already feel a growing heat from within her all the way to the tips of her pink fingers. The warmth she was seeking was the only antidote left. So she kept going. When she finally did stop before the wrought iron gate, ornate metal twisted into elaborate spirals and curls like that of her grandmother's graveyard, she cried out in tears, gasping for breath and almost falling to her knees as it loomed over her in all of its magnificent splendour.

      There wasn't much to think about, she passed the gate without so much as a glance back as her eyes were set on the boy waiting for her just beyond and amidst the crowds of children. He held out his hand for her dashingly, as if asking her for a dance, gracing her with a smile that brought out the sweet dimples in his young but handsome face. Her heart and soul fluttered and her cheeks gushed as one would for young love. She took his sturdy hand without a second thought and he led the way as they began to walk with a spring in their steps, through the crowds, the jugglers and acrobats, the sights and the games and all that was a feast for the senses. The carnival was an array of fun, of carefree enjoyment where boys and girls held hands and spun in circles excitedly, chasing one another, rushing between the bright tents and spilling with overflowing laughter that brightened the black night.

      He was the boy she loved, always, and now that his hand was in hers, she could not believe that they were ever apart. They giggled at each other shyly because of nothing in particular, not remembering what was so funny but something was, and hilariously so. The air felt a change. It was now pompous, loud and sweet, pleasant and reassuring as winter melted to summer.

      Through the crowd, they stumbled and ran, towards the place that had been locked into both of their memories. The lock on her heart jiggled pleasantly, rust shaking off and falling to dust, gold beginning to reappear underneath. But what was locked away had been locked for a reason.

      When they reached the carousel, it looked exactly as they had left it so many years ago. It was standing proud and tall, glittering in gold with its thousand tiny lights flashing and painted horses spinning. It stood without a single etch of time and not a speck of dust could be seen on its gorgeously molded and light encrusted figure. Here was the magic she dreamed of.

      When he lead her close, the line parted and children withdrew with a silent stare, stopping their merry songs and allowing them to pass and step up onto the platform, their faces suddenly solemn. There was no more playing. Girls and boys stopped holding each others hands, distancing themselves from one another and stood up with straight posture without restless fidgeting, staring upon them with old eyes. She sensed a change in her playmate but he was still there beside her whenever she turned to look so there was nothing to think of it. They walked onto the carousel and he helped her up to the prettiest beast of all and when she had settled down with a good grip on the soft mane of her Lucy, she reluctantly watched as he stepped a bit further away to climb the horse next to her. As he walked ahead, she saw his illuminated face and his determined eyes. She was anxious for the ride to start and it did, moving to life and accelerating with a push.

      As the carousel began to spin, the loud music drowned out all else and the speed picked up until everything was but a blur. All the people, the lights and the noise blended until they were no more. The only people who existed in the world were the boy and the girl. It was easy and it was a simple happiness, their escape from reality. She let herself feel the air sweep across her face, rustling her hair backwards in a flowing array of gold. She felt wonderful and beautiful and everything was just right as he looked her way.

      When their rides circled around and met each other every time, they reached out with their fingertips almost touching as she caught a glance of his perfect face with her wide eyes with every turn. But then he was no longer looking at her but past her, caught in the time of the carousel. And he would not look at her even though she was right there and they had finally found each other. She didn't like it anymore. No matter how loud she called out to him so she could see his face he would take no notice until her voice turned to a plea, then a shaky scream of insanity.

      Suddenly, the ride felt too fast, the music too loud and the lights were making her dizzy and sick. She wanted to stop. What was he thinking anyways, trying to act so grown up when they were a couple of kids? She wanted to be in his arms and stare into his beautiful - Except she could not remember the colour of his eyes. Were they a deep calming and sometimes turbulent blue, as vast and endless as the ocean or had it been a soft brown, warm and comforting as he is? Something didn't feel right. Her mind spun with the carousel as she came to the conclusion that something was definitely wrong, missing, but what it was she could not figure out. It was like a huge wall enclosing herself in her own mind, never allowing her to move forward.

      When the clunky metal finally churned to a stop and the music made a whine as it died off, the world began to move again for her. She looked for him amongst the overwhelming colours. There he was, at the very edge of the platform looking back at her. What she saw jolted her back to reality in a second, so fast that she regretted her curiosity and wished that she had just let it go. If she hadn't wanted to see him so much, everything would still be alright. Her illusion would still be in place and she hadn't wanted to see through it. But there it was, the proof right in front of her. Where his face was, there wasn't.

      There was nothing but a shadow. The truth struck her hard and ran a spear through her feathery heart. It was all in vain, she had thought as she fell. All she wanted was to hide in the security of her own mind, the last recluse left but even that was not enough. There was a time when he was hers and they were on the same step but as they grew, he could climb faster and looked higher towards the sky as she only stumbled along watching her feet with only him to guide her way. The carnival crumbled in chunks, pretty pieces falling into the abyss. Her fantasies hadn't been enough for her or she would have been okay just being with him and wouldn't have needed to see his face again. She cursed her own selfishness.

     

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     The next morning, a poor soul screamed as they found the dead body of a girl in an empty snow covered lot. Her skin was an impossible ghostly blue while her hair and eyelashes were encrusted with snow. They figured she had probably fallen asleep and did not awaken even as her heart beat no more, frozen to a still. But although her spirit had left the world she so dearly loved but could not enjoy with the one she wanted, that last night she regained a bit of happiness where the Midnight Carnival had once stood. It was there that she realized that it wasn't enough to find happiness in the fake reality created within her mind. She got what she wanted but it hadn't been enough.

      Today, if you look where the Midnight Carnival had been, there is nothing but acres and acres of nothingness, barren and lifeless as she is now.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy this one. Please tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Vian]

First you said that she searched for years and then you shortened the timeline to months -_- Wow, I loved it I swear I almost heard your Voice in this, its coming. When you do the "The next morning..." scene I think you should page break. Wow I'm still lost in wonderment, its so much better that the first time, though, there still wasn't enough emotion. It should be bitterly sad. It should be unbearably sweet at first, so much so to leave a saccharine taste in my mouth and then you should instantly take it all away that I am left bereft without it. However, the other description was amazing and all you. I felt a ghost breeze bite the tip of my nose as I read this, it worked. As quickly as I devoured it, it devoured me. It encircled me and I could feel the air around me changing as I read, it is amazing.

This is the right direction.

[Avery]

Thank you! I'm very relieved and encouraged that you like where I am going. And to think I made you feel! Now that is an accomplishment :)
Years to months? Where was the months part, although hm years...well I can always edit.
A page break, ah. I had forgotten of such simple but useful things. I'll be sure to add one.
Emotion is something I do need to work hard on expressing, there can never be enough. I felt myself that her realization was not sudden enough and you caught that.

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the read~

[Vian]

"She had been searching for it in her waking hours for every past troubling year." vs "When they reached the carousel, it looked exactly as they had left it so many months ago." these are both your quotes. She cannot have been looking for the carnival for years if they had only been to it months ago...

[Vian]

BY the way "...for every past troubling year." implicates that it has been many years that have been troubling and all of those years have been spent looking for the carnival.

[Avery]

oops forgot to change that from the old version, sankyou^^

[Playing with Demons]

This was AMAZING! You had spectacular description that was so great I didn't just feel like I was there-I WAS there! I think the ending should be a little more sad and emotional-the way you had written it made it seem less personal with the MC and more melancholy. It doesn't live up to the standard you set for yourself in the beginning of the story. I wanna be so sad and creeped out that I feel like screaming or crying. This is a fantastic piece and I found myself showing it to a few of my friends before typing a review
Thank you so much for sharing!
Cheerio!
Playing with Dinosaurs
95/100

[Avery]

Wow! I'm so glad you liked it to such an extent! Thanks for all the feedback, I absolutely agree with you that the second half needs a bit more work. I really appreciate the read and review :)