Two White Mochas and Blood on his Sleeve (Part Two)

The second half of the first chapter of the Declan Kent series. Ignore formattic and minor grammatical mistakes, I'm more interested in the meat of the matter.

     Amelie almost bolted out of the cafe, irritation and embarrassment warming the back of her neck and her ears. She didn't get male attention often, but when she did it was always the strange ones. She wasn't unattractive, she just typically buried her face in some obscure volume, obstructing anyone from  more than a glance. Her blotting out of the world wasn't just to escape into a book, but to escape from the world itself, not to mention romantic interest. She liked her books, her tea and her cat. Everything else was a complication. Having been raised in foster homes until adulthood, she learned that complications only beget heartache. She stuffed her book in her backpack and walked the familiar path towards her home. She had planned on spending an hour or two out of the house (her roommate had a "friend" over and wasn't planning on listening to the muffled noises through the walls), but her mood was spoiled and she couldn't concentrate.
     As she neared the corner towards the market and away from the shop she felt a strange sensation, as if she was being followed. The hair on her neck stood on end. She looked over her shoulder and saw only passerby. When she couldn't shake off the feeling entirely she decided to take a shortcut home.
     She cut a quick left turn into a network of narrow alley-ways, winding her way through twists and turns. She checked over her shoulder and thought she glimpsed a black silhouette vanish behind a corner. She quickened her pace and powered through the alley, turning at a random opening while looking over her shoulder. She breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of none, and turned forward.
     Before her were two men in trench-coats with their backs to her, towering over a withered, frail looking thing huddled on top of trash bags. She stopped in her tracks before they heard her. They were talking in hushed tones.
     "Looks like the last one. This one went faster, though."
      "He'll be pleased," replied the other.
     "We'll tell him tomorrow when we hit London. That's 67 this month and-" He stopped when he heard a low buzzing sound, coming from Amelie's pocket. She silenced it quickly, but it was too late. They turned and noticed her, surprise turning into scowls. The first one that spoke  pulled something long and silver out of his coat. Fear dropped her heart into her stomach and she backed away as they advanced towards her. They had long blades, similar to rapiers, but layered in floral markings, all blood red.
     "Look, I-I'm just-" her mouth struggle to work as she dropped her book,
     The second one smashed a window next to her.
     Her back pressed up against a brick wall, and they were inches away. She opened her mouth to scream, when everything was thrown into chaos.
     She heard it before she felt it. It was a warm steady hum, and it came from behind her. It vibrated her bones for a moment softly, before an invisible force swept her up and slammed onto a rail. All of the air left her lungs and her vision blacked out for a moment. She looked up to gain her bearings and saw that the scene before her had changed drastically. One of the men in coats was now dangling from above by his foot from a fire escape on the opposite wall; the other was lying on his back, injured, and crawling backward. She stared in disbelief when the man from the cafe stepped forward into vision, approaching the crawling man. He had fire in his eyes and his body seemed to be throbbing with energy. His face was a mask of quiet rage, his jaw set and his eyes burning.
     "What did you do to him?" he asked in a low, dangerous tone. 
     "Wha? N-no! There's no way! You're all supposed to be dead!" the crawling man screamed, wild-eyed.
     "Not yet."
     The crawling man's face turned to hate, and he spat at the cafe man, "Well you w-will be, he's coming, and y-you're first on his list!"
     "That's gonna be a very short list," the cafe man replied, before punching the crawling man square in the forehead. The man's eyes rolled back into his head with a sickening crack.       Cafe man turned to Amelie and reached out his hand after a moment.
     "My name is Declan, and you have incredibly bad luck."
     She gazed at him open-mouthed and took his hand, before he pulled her up.
     He rubbed his knuckles while he looked at the men, his expression softening. "I shouldn't have hit him that hard. But they were going to hurt you. I'm assuming you weren't supposed to see what they had just done."
     He looked thoughtful for a moment while she looked at him, speechless. He rolled his sleeve up (blood spattered onto the cuff) and touched the shriveled mass the two men had been observing. 
     "This used to be human."
     He looked at her and she replied,"Who are you?"
     "We need to get out of here."
     He pushed past her and walked out of the alleyway, leaving the chaos behind.
     She looked at the scene for a moment, before shivering and following him back into the mouth of the city.

Author's Note

Again, don't worry so much about formatting and grammar.

Reviews

[Karen Redburn]

The story continues to intrigue. Who are these people, first Declan and now the men in the alley. And what sort of powers does Declan possess, why do these other man have supernatural type weapons? All questions that would keep me as a reader, reading. Yes there are some sentence problems etc. But the story held me and I read on. Great hook so far, keep it coming!

[therealtadkent]

Thank you! Will explain more soon!

[Kasey Miriam]

This is really good so far. Very interesting, characters are developing well and it's got a good pace. Something I'd certainly like to continue to read.

I enjoy reading people's stories, books are often most fun, we write what we know right?
My guess is you wrote a lot of yourself into Declan and you are probably close to someone that you wrote much of into Amelie.
She resonates with me because her personality and tendencies are a lot like my middle and high school self. Though I guess I haven't changed much either.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Great story- very captivating - I do agree about the cat and the book is better than society🌹

[ckane]

I was looking everywhere for the "next chapter" button! 😂 Adventure from the get go, I'm enthralled. The execution of Declan is fantastic I feel like I know him. Excited for the next entry.

[therealtadkent]

Hey! Did you read part one? That was part two!
And thank you, I'm writing it as I comment.

[ckane]

Haha yes I did, I was too greedy to know more that I just skipped on and never thought to review the first.

[therealtadkent]

I'm glad it was interesting enough to illicit the greed. I'm super honored.

[Sarah Wilson]

Love the intrigue plus who can resist a knight in shining armor? Love where this is heading. On the edge of my seat. :)