I will not Bow.

I will not Bow.

A Poem by Shannon

I will not bow
to a tyrant from hell

I will not kneel
before a man in a shell

i will not swear
by your sword and your cross

I will not mourn
for the kingdom you lost

The tyrant from hell
Whom sits upon his throne
yelling and screaming
just leave him alone

The man in the shell
Whom sits all alone
Yes you know him well
Overturned from the throne

The sword and cross
Symbols that mean naught to me
No, its not my loss
Just because I've remained free

That lost kingdom
Desolate and dreary
Where Men died yearning for freedom
And poor rulers had grown weary. . .


© 2010 Shannon


Author's Note

Shannon
I am aware that both "throne" and "alone" are used twice in different stanza's. This is intentional. I do not intend to re-write or re-visit this piece actually, so this is its final form. Sorry.

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Reviews

This is a terrific piece - though I've come to expect nothing less from you..

Posted 14 Years Ago


ooops... explanation*

Posted 14 Years Ago


Shannon, I really liked the poem a lot. It showed your courage and your freedom. On suggestion, though is that after each "I will not ____" you put the desalination. i.e.

"I will not bow
to a tyrant from hell.

The tyrant from hell
Whom sits upon his throne
yelling and screaming
just leave him alone

I will not kneel
before a man in a shell

The man in the shell..."

But that's just my suggestion. :)
Awesome job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


This one turned out well. I would try to make the last two stanzas a bit less wordy, (suggestion - "The sword and the cross, they mean not to me"), but overall the concept and flow are great.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This piece is powerful...Very interesting. I don't feel this piece needs editing in any way. Definetly an entertaining piece.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like this. Not so full of your usual fire but still powerful. Full of insight and the reuse of those words creates a good link in the writing. Well formed.

Posted 14 Years Ago


ok. i thought this started off really strong but sorta went downhill after that.
the beginning was fantastic, but then you used throne and alone in 2 different stanzas to rhyme, and it lost its feeling. just re read is what i'd advice

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on May 10, 2010
Last Updated on May 10, 2010

Author

Shannon
Shannon

PA



About
I joined this site in 2009, when I was writing poetry exclusively. However my range has expanded and blended. My once short poems are now some sort of descriptive paragraph/free verse hybrid. I .. more..

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